


Can I Kiss You?

by ASimpleCherryTree



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Waffle House, kind of, spierfeld, waho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 35,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25948897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASimpleCherryTree/pseuds/ASimpleCherryTree
Summary: Simon and Bram have known each other since the first day of high school. They don’t know about the other’s private emails, though.
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier
Comments: 42
Kudos: 89





	1. The Day They Met

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! So I watched Love, Simon in my best friend’s living room after it came out, I watch it at least three times during Pride Month and at least once throughout the rest of the year, I recently read the entire Simonverse series (with the exception of Love, Creekwood, because I got the set a week before it came out, but I’ve heard a lot about it), and I’ve seen Love, Victor five times already. I’m attached to these boys.

I am almost 100% sure that my dad has a girlfriend.

He did nothing to try to fight my mom for custody, he let her whisk me away to Atlanta without a second thought. He already has a place to move into and it isn’t your typical divorcée apartment. I am 100% sure that my mom is thinking the exact same thing.

How can I be so sure? She told me as much. There are few topics of conversation on a four-hour drive to your new house after a shockingly recent divorce. She wasn't very subtle about her hurt, either.

She pulled into a gas station right outside of Atlanta for a water bottle. I followed her in and silently went to the snack aisle. I wasn’t particularly hungry, and I had no appetite whatsoever, but I figured that I could at least take it to school with lunch.

That’s another thing about the moving situation. The new school starts a week earlier than my old school, the day after I move in. A fantastic treat on top of my parents’ separation.

I grabbed a two-pack of Oreos and walked over to the counter with my mom. She paid and we got back into the car for the rest of our silent drive to Shady Creek.

Creekwood is rich rich. I was expecting it to be an above-average school, but students are pulling in in their Porsches and wearing Rolexes. Just looking at some of the students made my stomach turn. I looked down at my hoodie with disgust.

I was considered a “rich kid” in Savannah, which basically meant that I went to Disneyland a lot. I got a feeling that these kids went a little bit farther than Southern California on their family vacations.

I said goodbye to my mom who dropped me off. “Bram, sweetie, I want you to make friends. Grades aren’t the most important thing in the world, especially not in your freshman year. Please make friends.”

“I’ll try my hardest.” I grabbed my messenger bag and shut the passenger door. I walked in to find my locker.

The kid at the locker next to me was wearing the same hoodie as me but under a denim jacket. He smiled when he saw me. “Nice hoodie,” he said.

“You too,” I said back. 

“I’m Simon,” he said. Simon, the one who hears. He seems to be the one who sees because he noticed my outfit. None of the guys in Savannah noticed anything but shoes.

“Bram Greenfeld,” I said. 

“We don’t get new students very often,” Simon said. “A lot of people here are children of alumni.”

“Are you?” I asked.

“Of course, my parents were Locker Lovers. It’s really gross.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Love doesn’t last forever,” he said with a shrug. “And what are the chances that the feeling is mutual?”

“I’d assume pretty high, seeing as a majority of adults are in a serious relationship.”

“Can I get a source?”

“Well, no,” I said. I started smiling. This boy is something else. He can start up a deep conversation with a kid he met twenty seconds ago. I am not that type of person.

“Okay, Mr. Hopeless Romantic, where are you from? Why Shady Creek?”

“I’m from Savannah. My mom and I moved in yesterday because the hospital here had an opening for an epidemiologist.” A small detail was left out, but I didn’t lie. I have no need to tell everyone exactly why I moved.

“The day before high school starts? That’s rough. Leaving anyone behind?” Like my dad? That can’t be what he was asking, right?

“What do you mean?”

“Like, a kindergarten best friend, a girlfriend, a cousin that you’re oddly close with.”

“No, I’m not the most social person. I had a handful of friends, but none I really care to keep in contact with.”

“A fresh start,” he said. “I like it. What’s your first class?”

“Phys Ed with Johnson,” I said.

“I have gym with Willard, so I’ll walk you down there,” he said. “I just have to stop by the cafeteria to grab something from my friend, Leah. I’ll introduce you.” He shut his locker and walked down the hallway.

I had lunch right after Painting. I didn’t make any friends in that class, it was almost entirely art kids. It was an empty class that was easy to throw the new kid into. I had no one to walk to a lunch table with. I felt out of place standing in the middle of the yard with a paper bag in my hand.

I heard a voice from behind me. “Hopeless Romantic! Over here!” I turned around to see Simon frantically waving me towards his table. I walked over and hovered a little bit, not knowing where to sit.

“I’ve got an empty chair next to me,” a blond boy said across the table. “I’m Garrett.”

“Bram,” I said, sitting down next to him. Simon and Leah were sitting next to each other, as well as a boy I recognized from the cafeteria and two girls I had never seen before.

“That’s Morgan, Anna, Nick, Leah, and obviously you’ve already met Simon.” I didn’t know which one was Morgan and which one was Anna, but I had a feeling that I didn’t need to know. They retreated into a little bubble, occasionally telling Leah a joke.

“So,” Simon said. He had commanded the presence of the lunch table with his voice. It wasn’t even loud, but just that kind of voice. He’s the important one. The main character in a high school movie. “Alice told me that your success in Geometry is entirely dependent on your teacher. Who do you all have?”

“I’ve got Smith,” Garrett said.

“Me too,” Nick said. Leah nodded.

“You’re kidding, I’m the only one with Rodriguez?” Simon asked. I remembered the name Rodriguez from my schedule.

“I have her, too,” I said. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness,” he said. “But I might need your help with studying. Rodriguez is the hard one.”


	2. The First Time They Emailed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The emails go a little bit different, as Bram is a much more social person.

Who in the world did that? I thought I was alone. I made the post about loneliness, I didn’t expect a companion. “THIS.” Just four letters, but they were rattling around in my brain.

Of course, whoever commented was anonymous. That’s the whole point of the Tumblr. Anonymity. I just needed to know who it was.

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 5.30.18  
Subject: THIS

I got your comment, and I have to say that it stuck with me. What exactly about the post did you relate to? Was it just the loneliness aspect?

-Blue

I set my phone down on my end table but felt it buzz as it left my fingers. I quickly picked it up. He couldn’t have responded that quickly.

It was a text from Simon. I put my phone in my pocket and ran down the stairs. “Mom, Simon’s here, I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” My mom smiled at me from the kitchen table and waved me out the door.

I slid into his passenger seat. “I can’t believe we managed to get Rodriguez two years in a row,” I said. “Finals are gonna suck.”

“But Nick gets to feel the pain,” Simon said. “I told him to meet us at Waffle House at five.”

“Five?” I asked. “We’re going to get there at 4:15.” I tapped his car’s clock.

“I figured that we would study just the two of us for a little bit. Just like old times.”

Here’s the thing, I may or may not have a crush on Simon. My stepmom’s cousin was one thing, this is a whole other thing. All I know is that when Simon says things like “just the two of us” my heart soars. I probably have a crush on him.

“Okay, but don’t expect me to give you all of the answers.”

“That was one homework assignment,” Simon said. “I was exhausted.”

“If you know the quadratic formula you’ll probably do fine.”

“-b ± √b^2-4ac all over 2a,” Simon said with a smile.

“That’ll do.”

At 4:45, after half an hour of studying and several lemonades, I popped over to the bathroom. We decided to start packing up our stuff and paid our bill. We told the waitresses to pretend we just walked in.

I stepped out of the bathroom and felt my pocket buzz. I ignored it because of our no phones rule. Last year, Simon spent the entire dinner texting Alice about her secret dog, so we had to deal with that. I kind of cursed myself, but how could I have known how important an email could be?

I sat down again with my full backpack. We didn’t get much studying done, so hopefully, Nick can keep us on track.

“If Nick gets here tell him I’m in the bathroom,” Simon said. He jumped out of his seat and speed walked to the bathroom.

I pulled out my phone and saw an email.

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 5.30.18  
Subject: Re: THIS

Dear Blue,

I related to a bit more than the loneliness aspect ;)

I’m actually a lot like you. I related to your loneliness, but I’m not necessarily lonely. I have my best friend in the entire world, my kindergarten best friends, and some other friends that I hang out with all the time. It just feels like I’m keeping myself from them if that makes sense.

-Jacques

That’s what I thought. Straight boys don’t put themselves out there like that.

I started to draft a reply, but Simon came out of the bathroom.

“We’re going to have to get more drinks while Nick is here to keep up the charade,” he said.

“I don’t think he’ll notice,” I said.

“He will if we don’t get any, he’s very observant.”

Nick walked over to our booth and slid in next to Simon.

“Finals were canceled,” he said.

“What?”

“Rodriguez’s daughter gave birth two months early so she’s flying down there to help out. We have a sub, but finals are canceled.”

“What are they doing about our grade?” I asked.

“She said we could choose whether or not to take a placeholder test and that it could help our grades.”

“I have a 98% there’s no way I’m taking that test,” I said.

“Bram got me a 88%, so I think I’m good,” Simon said. “I don’t think there’s much going up from that.”

“So this is a celebratory dinner,” Nick said. “Also, are you guys not checking your emails? She sent it half an hour ago.”

“I don’t get email notifications,” I said. A blatant lie, but whatever. “I check it every couple of hours.” 

“I probably have 3000 unread emails,” Simon said. Another lie, which I know, because I’ve been in his room while he checks his email. Messy room, clean inbox.

“Well, let’s order a round of root beer floats,” Nick said.

“I told you,” Simon said quietly. I smiled and felt my heart soar.


	3. Junior Year: Abby’s Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically all caught up, takes place a few months before where the book would start.

Sometimes adults tell you that you’re going to blink and be in your thirties. It’s something that kids always laugh at because they don’t know aging. They’ve been seven forever. High school really makes you think about how fast life moves.

Freshman and Sophomore year went by in a blink. Two years of birthday lunches, two years of Waffle House study dates, and two years of homework. Two years is nothing. I still remember the hoodie that I wore to the first day of high school.

I walked into the school and got to go up the stairs to get to my locker. Juniors pick their lockers, so Simon and I have lockers next to each other. The rest of the lunch table is to the right of Simon, but there’s an empty locker next to mine. Or, there was two weeks ago at Open House.

I walked to my locker and saw a girl I’d never seen before standing there. She was struggling to open her locker.

“You’ve got a sticky one,” I said. “Kick it once and you’ll be just fine.” She looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

“That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “Won’t that just shut it more?”

“Here.” I walked up next to her and slammed my foot into her locker. She pulled the handle and it opened, with some resistance.

“Thanks, I guess I don’t know how your lockers work,” she said.

“I had a sticky locker last year,” I said. “I had to get the drama teacher to help me on the first day of school. She kicked it so hard it left a small dent.”

“Ouch,” she laughed. “That’s not necessary, right?”

“Nope. Just a regular old kick will do the trick.” Disgusting, a rhyme. It wasn’t intended, but it was terrible. I’m not usually this kind of person.

I started to do my locker combination. She looked over at me. “Oh, so I can get you to open my locker every day?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t really come to my locker too often. I hang out in the library.”

“Is that something people do here?” she asked. “At my school in DC things like that would basically solidify your spot at the Magic the Gathering lunch table.”

“Well, the library has lots of tables, so a lot of people hang out there.”

“I’ll have to see for myself.”

“I’ll introduce you to my friends. I’m Bram Greenfeld, by the way.”

“Abby Suso.”

I went with Abby to the library where Simon was the only one sitting at our usual table. “I swear I have more friends than this,” I said to Abby.

“Bram, thank goodness you’re here, Leah has something else in the mornings now and Garrett isn’t answering any of my texts.”

“Hey, Si, this is Abby.” I sat down next to Simon and Abby sat down in Leah’s spot.

“Hi, Abby, I’m Simon Spier.” He extended his hand and shook vigorously.

“Hi, I’m Abby Suso.” 

“Are you taking pre-calc?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Who’s your teacher?”

“Galverson,” she said. “Why?”

“Ooh, Bram and I have Galverson! We’re always in the same math class, I wonder why.”

“Starting two years ago when I moved here,” I explained. “It’s not a miracle of science.”

“Not from Shady Creek?” Abby asked. “I was under the impression that everyone has known each other since diapers.”

“I moved from Savannah when my parents separated, right before my freshman year. Simon, on the other hand, is the son of the star football player and valedictorian. Hold on,” I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I got the two-minute notification. I had to specially set that up for my email, but it was worth it. I miss the first buzz a lot.

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 8.20.18  
Subject: First Day of School

I’m already at school, half an hour early. My sister wanted to be early, so now I’m sitting here waiting. I’m so bored. I wish you could be here to serenade me. Can you even sing?

-Jacques

I slid my phone into my pocket. I wanted to read it, but I wasn’t about to message Jacques in front of Simon and Abby. That feels weird, somehow.

“Sorry, my mom texted,” I said. “She sent me a picture of my schedule as if I didn’t have it memorized.”

“How is your mom?” Simon asked. “I haven’t seen her since she dropped you off at Waffle House in July.”

“Busy with work,” I said. “I think one of her coworkers quit.”

“What does she do?” Abby asked.

“She’s an epidemiologist,” I said. 

“Isn’t that a five-dollar word,” Abby said.

“She studies the spread of disease and stuff.”

“She’s really smart,” Simon said. “And it rubbed off on her kid.” He nudged my shoulder. 

Here’s the problem; I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have a crush on Simon, but I’m getting really close with Jacques. It feels like I have a crush on a real boy and a fake boy, even though they’re both real. In fact, Jacques might be more real than Simon, because he doesn’t play a charade that all people play. Sure, he’s using a fake name, but he’s so real about his life, and he doesn’t hide the embarrassing things you would hide from your friends. Simon just feels more real because I can see him.


	4. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you thought that Bram wouldn’t force Simon to Homecoming before Abby you would be dead wrong.

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 8.20.18  
Subject: Re: First Day of School

I can sing decently? I think? I don’t do it much, but I might have to learn. Just so that I can serenade you. I would totally learn to sing for you.

I always get to school early, but I might have to stop. Apparently, I’ll be the only person there. All of my friends are doing different things.

How do you feel about Homecoming? I want to go with you, but without knowing you. I love Homecoming, it would be so much fun to experience together.

-Blue

I sent the email from under the table in Chemistry. The teacher was going through the syllabus for the third time and I just couldn’t care less. Simon has an assigned seat all the way across the room and Garrett still hadn't shown up. I was getting kind of worried about him, and he wasn’t answering any of our texts.

I texted Simon an addition to our string of emojis. Whenever we think about each other we send an emoji and without conversation, it turns into a pretty impressive chain.

He turned his head around and smiled at me. I felt the one buzz that meant that he sent something back. The bee emoji.

After class, we walked to lunch together.

“This year I’m taking you to the Homecoming game,” I said. “I was unsuccessful last year, but you’re coming this year.”

“What is the appeal?” Simon asked. “Hundreds of people packed into the bleachers watching sweaty guys play football?”

“It’s about the smell of the air, and the lights, and the feeling of camaraderie. It isn’t even about football.”

“But we’re always comrades,” Simon said. “Are you saying that you don’t always feel the camaraderie?”

“Come to Homecoming and you’ll understand,” I said. I sat down at the lunch table. Garrett’s spot was empty.

Simon walked over to the lunch line and I was the only one at the lunch table. I opened up my package of Oreos and started eating. Garrett would usually be sitting down with his foul-smelling tuna salad. I glanced down at my phone to see if he had finally texted, but instead, I saw an email from Jacques.

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 8.20.18  
Subject: Homecoming

Blue, I will be at the Homecoming game. My friend convinced me, and if it’s as fun as he says, I might enjoy it. A little.

What if we made it a “date?” Like, we’ll be in the same place at the same time, but we don’t know who we are. It would be cool, I think.

What do you think? Would that be fun or totally lame?

-Jacques

My heart started pounding. I had a date for the Homecoming game, albeit not knowing who it is. I put my phone down when I heard a loud grinding.

I looked up to see Abby dragging a chair over. “I didn’t know if you had a full table, but I didn’t want you eating alone if you didn’t,” she said.

“It’s usually full, but everyone else gets a hot lunch.” Everyone but Garrett. I was getting really nervous. “Nick actually has to drag over a seventh chair.”

“Seven is a gross number,” she said, sticking her tongue out. “You’re lucky I’m here to be the eighth person.”

“How is seven gross?”

“It’s a nasty number. It gives off bad vibes.” I wasn’t aware that numbers gave off vibes, but Simon would definitely agree with her. He’s that kind of person.

“What numbers give off good vibes?” I asked.

“Six, thirteen, and nine are my favorites, but there are plenty of others.”

“What about 18?” My birthday influenced a lot of my choice in numbers. If I had to pick a lucky number it would be 18.

“That’s a good number, six times three, nine times two, why do you ask?”

“It’s my birthday,” I said.

“Like, two days ago?”

“The eighteenth of January,” I said.

“My birthday’s in January, too, but it’s the seventh.” She stuck her tongue out again. She must really hate the number seven.

Simon sat down across from me. “Hey, I’ll go to Homecoming with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to leave you alone in the bleachers again.” What Simon didn’t know is that I wouldn’t be alone in the bleachers, even if I sat alone. Jacques would be there.

“Hey, Simon, what’s your birthday?” Abby asked.

“November 17, why?”

“That’s a disgusting number,” she said. “Please tell me you were a c-section baby and didn’t choose to come out on the seventeenth.”

“I was, but I don’t think babies in the womb have knowledge of linear time.”

“I’ve known some people,” she said. “My cousins chose to come out a week and a half early, so they were born on the sixth instead of the seventeenth. They're amazing.”

“You have a point,” Simon said. “My older sister was two days late and born on the twenty-first.”

“Is that a good number?” I asked.

“Of course,” Abby said. “It’s seven times three. Seven is a bad number, but multiples of seven past fourteen are good numbers. I don’t know how to explain it to a non-believer.”

“What about numbers containing seven?” I asked. Abby rolled her eyes.

“It depends on the number. Seventeen is bad, but twenty-seven is great because it’s nine times three. Thirty-seven is bad, along with most numbers until ninety-seven. Ninety-seven just has a nice vibe.”

“I really don’t understand,” I said.

“I know, but you will by the end of the year. I’ll make sure of it.”


	5. Total Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Total open honesty between Jacques and Blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An entirely email chapter :)

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 8.28.18  
Subject: Can I be Honest?

It’s no secret that these emails have been getting flirtatious, but I have to be perfectly honest. I have a crush on my best friend. Obviously, nothing is going to happen between us, he’s straight and I think he has a crush on the new girl. I just wanted to be really upfront about it. 

-Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour@gmail.com  
Date: 8.28.18  
Subject: Re: Can I be Honest?

Blue, if I’m being perfectly honest, I also have a crush on my best friend. I’m like 99% sure that he’s straight, and it’s really hard. He’s never had a girlfriend, but he’s not the most outgoing person that I know. And it’s not like having a girlfriend is a good indicator of being straight, I’ve had a couple myself. Someone could be closeted or bi/pan/etc.

Still, I’m 99% sure that he’s straight. I think it’s so easy to be flirtatious over email to a person that I don’t know because there’s a feeling of it not being a real person. It’s like cyberbullying, how people think it’s safer or whatever. That’s what all the anti-cyberbullying videos they played for us in middle school said, anyways.

Without being too specific (just in case I know him) describe your best friend and I’ll describe mine if that isn’t stepping on too many toes. I just think it would be nice, I don’t know.

-Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 8.29.18  
Subject: Re: Can I be Honest?

I totally understand what you mean about feeling like it’s not real. I know that you’re real, but monkey brain says “no see face means no face.”

My best friend, how do I describe him? I can’t really describe what he looks like, just in case, but I will tell you that he has the prettiest eyes. You could get lost in them for hours. Pools of cloudy sky, deep and mysterious.

He’s also the sweetest thing. The day he met me he had a nickname for me and included me in every single thing he did with his friends. He has a way of making everyone feel like the only person in the room, which sounds counterintuitive, but trust me on that.

He’s a realist, but he never lost his sense of wonder. In short, he’s an amazing person who makes me feel warm inside.

-Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 8.29.18  
Subject: Best Friend

Your best friend sounds amazing. Or you’re just obsessed with him and have an amazing imagination. Who’s to say?

My best friend is an absolute treasure to know. On the first day I met him he told me that he believes in true love. Well, kind of, but it’s a better story if I tell it that way.

The funny thing is, he’s the one who makes me believe in true love. Sometimes we watch romantic comedies together, and I watch him gaze at the screen whenever the couple does something mushy. It makes me want that for him, even if it’s not with me. I want him to have his happily ever after, he deserves a great love story.

You told me all about your best friend’s eyes, which is mushy and adorable, and my best friend would love it, but I’m gonna have to go a different route. The one physical thing I will tell you about is his calves. He is very athletic, and his calves could be worshipped by Gods themselves. I’m not even religious and I know that much.

-Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 8.29.18  
Subject: Re: Best Friend

That was one of the cutest things that I have had the pleasure of reading. About that last paragraph, if we are ever going to meet up in person, I’d need to know three to five business weeks in advance. To do some lunges. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You know those websites where you can watch Netflix with someone? We should use one of those and watch romantic comedies. I think that would be fun. If only we had thought of this before school started, we would have so much more free time. Chemistry really is something, isn’t it?

There is one other thing I think that you should know about my best friend. He would love you if I ever got the courage to tell him. He would think that you are the bomb. Wow, I cannot believe that I used the phrase “the bomb” in the year 2018. I’m a menace.

-Blue

To:bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 8.29.18  
Subject: Re: Best Friend

That would be so much fun if we could chat in real-time and watch romantic comedies together. Wow, we should set that up over fall break.

Also, you think he would like me? That’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten, not gonna lie. I don’t know why that hit me so hard, but oh well.

-Jacques

P.S. maybewecouldlikemeetupathomecomingandhaveanactualdatemaybeidontknow

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 8.29.18  
Subject: Re: Best Friend

Yes! Fall break! Putting it on my calendar now, we cannot forget about this.

About your post script, as much as I want to know who you are, I feel like I want to stay like this for a while. I’m not exactly comfortable meeting up yet. Maybe for prom? Not that I’m asking you to prom, of course. That would be WAY bigger. I’m kind of sappy, sorry.

-Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, apparently I didn’t hit post yesterday. Everything but the last email was saved, though, so it’s all good :)


	6. What Happened to Garrett?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the missing the first two weeks of school, Garrett is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s back babey! I understand why he isn’t a big part of the books, he isn’t really friends with Simon, but I love Garrett so much.

Reading is a hell of a distraction. I was reading in the library while laying on a beanbag chair with Simon and Abby. Simon’s phone was out and Abby was knitting. None of us were really paying attention to anything else in the library.

That’s why it was such a shock when someone came over and kissed my forehead. I looked up from the book I was reading to see Garrett’s smiling face inches from the cover of my book.

“Garrett!” I set my book down next to the chair and stood up to fling my arms around him. “Where were you?”

“I’ve got more important questions,” he said. “Who is this, why are there three people on one beanbag chair, and can this beanbag chair fit a fourth?”

“Okay, this is Abby Suso,” I said. Abby stood up and extended her hand.

“I’ve heard so much about you,” she said. “Mostly along the lines of ‘I think the rascal is dead’ but at least I know that you’re a rascal.”

“That’s all you need to know,” Garrett said. “Garrett Laughlin, Resident Rascal.”

“Now, about the beanbag chair,” Simon said as the only one who hadn’t left the chair. “You may join us, but if Ms. Winters walks past we all slide off and Abby is the only one on the chair.”

“Why Abby?”

“Because sliding with knitting needles was deemed ‘too dangerous’” Abby said with air quotes.

“That’s just silly,” Garrett said. He draped himself across the back of the beanbag chair. “What could possibly go wrong?”

“She could stab herself in the eye,” Simon said. “I’m not risking her eyeball for the chance to sit on a bag of beans for an extra thirty seconds.”

We had to make a little bit of extra room on the couch in English for Garrett, so I scooted closer to Simon. I was almost sitting on his lap. He looked over and smiled at me, which made my heart ache. I smiled back and put my head on his shoulder.

“Laughlin, where have you been?” Nick asked.

“Los Angeles,” he said. “Our car broke down and we couldn’t fix it, so we were stuck in LA until Friday. We pulled in last night.”

“Why didn’t you text any of us?” I asked.

“I thought it would be funny,” Garrett said. “Become a mystery.”

“It was not funny,” Nick said. “We were all worried.”

“My dad told me to only use my phone for schoolwork,” he said. “He wanted us to make the most of the situation, which meant walking around the ocean twelve hours a day.”

The bell rang and Mr. Wise came in to hand us our book reports. I doubted anyone would do particularly well, seeing as we had two weeks to read the book and write the report.

When he walked over to the couch he set a stack down on the coffee table in front of us. So much for hiding a bad grade, everyone gets to see everyone’s grades.

Abby’s 97 was on the top of the pile, which she grabbed quickly and put in her binder. I scanned the names on the papers, trying to avoid looking at numbers. I grabbed my paper and looked over to the right corner. A big 99 was circled.

Garrett’s paper was the last on the table. I didn’t know whether or not Mr. Wise was going to print his, but there it was. With a big red 91.

“Starting the year off right, I see,” Garrett said. “This is nothing like me,” he directed towards Abby. “I have a steady B- average.”

“That’s generous,” Leah said.

“You don’t do much better.”

“I have a 3.7, I think I’m fine.”

Abby shrunk into the couch. She looked like she didn’t have much to contribute to this conversation. I understood where she was coming from. I practically had 4.0 written on my forehead, and Garrett and Leah have never let me hear the end of it.

Nick gets good grades, too, but he doesn’t try. He just has a lot of knowledge stored in his head, so they don’t go after him.

I put my paper in my folder and pulled out a notebook. Mr. Wise was telling us about the book he was assigning. Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige. I scribbled it down at the top of my page, but only listened to about half of what he was saying.

He was droning on and on about how he doesn’t normally assign modern fantasy, but that this book brings up so many philosophical questions and that it’s important.

Abby was saying something, but I wasn’t paying attention to the couch anymore. I don’t know what I was paying attention to, but my focus definitely was not in the classroom.

“Could you summarize everything you just said?” I asked.

“We should all hang out and watch that Dog Days movie with Finn Wolfhard that came out a few weeks ago,” she said.

“Yeah, where were you thinking?”

“My place is pretty far, but if you guys don’t mind,” she started.

“My can drive everyone if it’s too far,” I said. “But we’ve all been to my house and Simon’s house, and Nick’s house, but we’ve never been to your house. This feels important.”

“You’ve known me for two weeks,” Abby said. I always forget, it feels like she was one of the people who welcomed me to Creekwood, but really I welcomed her.

“It’s important.”

“Okay,” she laughed. “Are you all free on Friday?”

We didn’t talk about anything at lunch because my mom’s car didn’t have room for Morgan and Anna, so we decided it was best to keep it just the six of us. I was already nervous about six people, because that means we need to have three people in the back. Abby volunteered to sit in the middle, but it’s still a pain.

I get the front seat, though. Leah and Nick get middle, Simon and Garrett are going to sit next to Abby. Simon graciously accepted his burden, but Garrett had his complaints.

“You know, with eight people, this lunch table is a little tight,” he said. “But at least it’s not all squeezed together, like when there are three people in the back seat of a car.”

“Yeah,” Morgan said. “Sometimes when we drive up to Athens I’m stuck in the back with my cousins. This is nothing compared to that.”

“Sometimes I’m forced back there by forces greater than myself,” Garrett said. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I would never complain,” Simon said. “It’s like free cuddle time.” Of course he would enjoy free cuddle time with Abby. I kept my mouth shut.

“Si, you are literally laying on Bram,” Leah said. I didn’t even realize, but all of Simon’s weight was on my arm. He also isn’t in his spot, he’s in Garrett’s. I guess Garrett took his spot next to Nick when he sat down.

“I’d take hugs from anyone I could get them from,” he said. Leah stuck her tongue out. I moved the arm he was laying on to around his shoulders. I get that it’s entirely platonic, but I wish it wasn’t. I wish I could just sit on his lap at the lunch table no question. I wish he was my boyfriend, but I don’t want to get between him and Abby, even if Nick is. I don’t think Nick notices that Simon likes her, but Simon definitely notices that Nick does.

We always exchange looks. Mostly because it means Leah is going to do something, but I think he’s hinting at his crush, as if I wouldn’t notice otherwise. I notice everything about him, because I’m always looking.


	7. Abby’s House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night at Abby’s house

Abby asked about every single car that pulled into the pickup lane. No matter how many times I told her that my mom drives a light blue minivan, she would perk up and ask about every single car, even the lime green Jeep.

“Is that one your mom?” she asked, a laugh behind her words.

“Yeah,” Garrett said. “This prodigy was raised in a lime green Jeep.”

“People aren’t raised in cars, Garrett,” Nick said.

“But how much of our lives are spent in cars?”

“Not that much,” Leah said. “Most of our lives are spent in school and sleeping.”

“But what gets us from school to sleeping?”

“A bus, Garrett.”

“Hey that’s my mom,” I said. The light blue minivan pulled into the end of the line. I waved and waited for her to get closer to the front of the line. It’s pointless to get in a car at the back of the line when you’re just going to end up sitting there for ten minutes while the freshmen get into their cars.

A few minutes later we were all packed into the car. My mom laughed. “Y’all are like a pack of sardines back there.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Garrett said. Nick spread his legs all the way to the door and Leah’s seat.

“It is a little packed, Ms. Greenfeld.” I winced. Legally, she didn’t want to change her name again (“I have a Ph.D. for heaven’s sake, I can’t keep changing it”), but if I were divorced, I wouldn’t want to constantly have a reminder of my ex. She did choose not to change it, though, and I don’t think it bothers her.

“Nick, we’ve known you for two years, you can call me Delaney.” Technically, she only met him a few months ago. I’ve known him for two years.

“What about me?” Abby asked. “I’ve known Bram for two weeks, Dr. Greenfeld.” My mom laughed.

“You can call me Laney, hon.” We finally got out of the parking lot.

“Can I call you Laney?” Simon asked.

“No, Simon, for you it’s Delaney Greenfeld, Ph.D.”

“Will do, Laney,” he said. I turned around to see him grinning. I didn’t need to, I know his stupid joke face. Abby poked him in the cheek. I sighed, even though Simon didn’t do anything.

My mom dropped us off in front of Abby’s house. “Who all am I picking up tonight?” she asked. Most of us were sleeping over.

“You don’t need to worry about it,” Garrett said. “My dad is picking Nick and me up. He didn’t want you to drive all this way when you aren’t even picking up your own kid.”

“That’s very nice of him,” she said. “So I’ll be picking everyone up in the morning?”

“My mom is driving us to Waffle House,” Abby said.

“Yeah, we were all planning on walking home afterward,” I said. My mom looked dumbfounded by the fact that she couldn’t be helpful from here on out.

“Thank you for the ride, Laney,” Abby said with the biggest smile on her face. She isn’t even a parent pleaser, she’s just the nicest person in the world.

Abby’s mom was leaving the house when we walked in. “I’ll be home around five, baby, don’t stay up too late.” She kissed Abby on the forehead and walked out the door with her phone balanced on her shoulder.

“She’s going to North Carolina to see my dad,” Abby explained.

“How often does she go?” Leah asked.

“She tries to go once a month, but their schedules need to coincide.”

“Is she going to be awake to drive us?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, she’s one of those people who only needs four hours of sleep.”

We walked into the living room together and Abby went into the kitchen to make us some pizza bagels before the movie. The couch is kind of small, so Leah elected to sit on the floor. I sat next to Simon, but he pulled me into his lap.

“Leave room for Abby,” he said with a smile. Sometimes I feel like he’s trying to give me a big gay heart attack.

The movie was phenomenal. Simon and I poked each other whenever Mabel was on screen because she’s a chonkster. I noticed Nick and Abby go silent at the same time whenever Jasmine Cephas Jones was onscreen. She’s uber-talented.

After the movie, Garrett texted his dad. Nick and Garrett started cleaning up their dishes before they had to leave but realized that it would be an hour.

Abby brought all of us to her room. She was wearing a mischievous smile, which is unusual for her. At least, that’s what I would assume. I’ve only known her for two weeks.

She told us all to sit in a circle around a rug while she went to go grab something from the kitchen. We were all sitting in stunned silence until she came back into the room with an empty soda bottle, which provoked outrage.

“Abby, two-thirds of us are guys,” Nick said.

“How fragile is your masculinity, Nicholas?” Abby asked. “If you can kiss a girl you aren’t attracted to, you can kiss a guy you aren’t attracted to.” Sound logic, but I’ll be practicing it in reverse. Unless, of course-

“Who’s starting?” Leah asked.

“I will, of course,” Abby said. “Like a true host.” She set the soda bottle in the middle of the rug and twisted her wrist.

The bottle spun around a few times before landing on Garrett. They both clamped their eyes shut and quickly kissed each other. Abby smiled and handed Garrett the bottle. “See?” she said to Nick.

Obviously, Garrett doesn’t have a crush on Abby, but that would’ve been brutal if he did. Garrett laughed, thank God. He spun the bottle much harder than Abby did and after multiple rotations, it landed on Leah.

Their kiss was a titch longer than the one with Abby, but it definitely wasn’t a full kiss. Garrett pulled away and made a disgusted face.

“How did I get this much hair in my mouth?” he asked, pulling out a long, curly hair. Leah laughed.

“The curse that befalls all straight men attracted to long-haired beauties,” she said.

“I’m sure that a gay man attracted to long-haired beauties would also get hair in his mouth,” Simon said. “Hair is hair.”

“And love is love,” Abby said. Leah looked down and spun the bottle.

I don’t know how many times it spun, she spun it so fast. As it slowed, it became apparent that it was going to land on Simon. And it did.

Their kiss was even shorter than Abby and Garrett’s, both looking disgusted afterward. “Never in the ten years I’ve known you have I ever thought I would do that,” Simon said.

“I banished that thought after middle school,” Leah said. She stuck her tongue out and made fake vomiting noises.

Simon spun the bottle and as it slowed my anxiety peaked. Because the bottle had landed on me.

Simon leaned over and kissed me. I couldn’t tell if it was longer or shorter than the other kisses, it felt like it lasted a thousand years while still being the shortest thing I’ve ever endured. I can say that he put his hand on my chin, which nobody else did.

It doesn’t matter, though, because Simon Spier kissed me.


	8. The Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Abby’s sleepover

Because of the Spin the Bottle rules, I had to recover pretty quickly. I spun it and it landed on Nick. Conveniently enough, seeing as he was the only person who hadn’t kissed anyone yet.

I leaned over and pecked him on the lips.

“See?” Abby asked. “Was that so bad?”

“That was wild, Abs,” he said.

“It was the smallest kiss ever,” Garrett laughed. “Simon and Leah had more action.”

“It was the wildest thing I’ve ever done,” Nick said. 

“Well, it’s your turn,” I said. “And you have a sixty percent chance that you’ll kiss a guy again.”

Nick spun, and sure enough, it landed on Garrett. Garrett leaned over and slammed his face into Nick’s. Nick pulled away.

“Why would you do that?” he asked.

“I thought it would be funny,” Garrett said with a smile.

After a few rounds, I excused myself to the bathroom. I pulled out my phone.

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 9.7.18  
Subject: Aaahhh

So, I just had my first kiss? And it was with my best friend??? It meant nothing but still?????? I’m freaking out a little, Jacques. Can you say something supportive?

-Blue

I put my phone in my back pocket and washed my hands. I went back to Abby’s room.

“Hey, Garrett’s dad is here,” Abby said. Garrett and Nick were standing next to the bedroom door waiting for me.

“Bye, I’ll see you guys on Monday,” I said. Nick awkwardly patted my shoulder and walked out the door. Garrett made a goofy face and followed.

Once they were out the door Abby sat down on her bed. “Let’s tell secrets,” she said.

“What kind of secrets?” Leah asked.

“Well, who do you have a crush on?” I suddenly felt warm. I can’t exactly tell everyone who I have a crush on.

“Ew, nobody,” Leah said. “Have you met the guys we know? No offense,” she added.

“None taken,” I said. I’m a raging homosexual, Leah, I wouldn’t be offended.

“Who do you have a crush on, Abby?” Simon asked.

“I always do this,” Abby said. “I ask people questions I don’t want to answer myself.”

“Who is it?” Leah asked with a big smile on her face.

“Um, it may or may not be Nick?” I looked over at Simon to gauge his reaction. He just smiled.

“That’s so cute,” he said. Abby frowned.

“I’m not seven, Simon,” Abby said.

“I know, but it’s still adorable.”

“Well, who do you have a crush on?”

“No one, at the moment,” Simon said. Leah shook her head.

“Si, I’ve known you since kindergarten, you bite the inside of your cheek when you lie.” I saw him open his teeth.

“I don’t have a crush, Leah,” he said. His face was getting red.

“That’s a blatant lie,” Abby said.

“Is it someone in this room?” Leah whispered. Simon over-exaggerated his heading shaking.

“I don’t have a crush.”

“So, Simon isn’t telling us who he had a crush on, what about you, Bram?” Abby asked.

“Also no one,” I said. “But real.”

“Bram,” Simon said. “Your hands are twitching.”

“Why are you two so secretive?” Abby asked.

“We’re not!” we said in unison. Abby rolled her eyes.

“Let’s watch something,” Abby said. “Maybe a romance will get you in the mood to share?”

“Sure,” Simon said. “But I don’t have a crush.”

“Let’s watch Legally Blonde,” I said. “It’s on my list of movies to show Simon.”

“Not only do you have a list of movies to watch with Simon,” Leah said. “But Legally Blonde is on it?”

“And other Reese Witherspoon classics.”

“I’m all for Legally Blonde,” Simon said. “It’s one of his favorites.”

Abby was dancing around the kitchen when I woke up. We had fallen asleep watching the movie, so Simon’s head was on my stomach and Leah’s hair was on Simon’s head. Her hair is amazingly long.

I pushed her hair off of my chest and lightly guided Simon’s head to the pillow next to me. I stood up to join Abby in the kitchen.

“How did you escape?” she asked in a whisper.

“Simon’s a deep sleeper.”

“Really? I wouldn’t have assumed that for him.”

“Yeah, it takes a lot to wake him up.”

“Bram?”

“Yeah?”

“Who do you have a crush on?” Not this again. I looked over at Simon in the living room. He was fully passed out, no way he would be able to hear me.

“Can we sit down?” I asked. She nodded and we walked over to the stools.

“This seems awfully formal,” she said. “I feel like we need tea. Do you want tea?”

“I’ll have some later.”

“So?”

“Abby, I’ve had a crush for almost two years. I’ve never told anyone.”

“So I’m special?”

“Very.”

“Why haven’t you told Simon? He’s your best friend.”

“Because it is Simon.” Her jaw dropped. I was really worried that she would say something. I figured that it would be fine after what she said last night, but this gave me second thoughts.

“So that’s why you lied last night?”

“Yeah.”

“And you got to kiss him,” she said. It sounded like there was a longing in her voice, but she got to kiss Nick.

“Yeah.”

“Was it weird?”

“Was it weird to kiss Nick?”

“Well, no,” she said.

“Well, it was really weird to kiss Simon. It felt like that’s what I was put on this planet to do, but also like I was doing something wrong. Not internalized homophobia, just because he’s straight.”

“Aw, you didn’t feel that way when you kissed me,” Abby said.

“I haven’t had a crush on you for two years.”

“Who have you had a crush on for two years?” Abby and I jumped. I turned around to see Leah standing in the kitchen.

“Not Abby,” I said. Leah’s eyebrows furrowed.

“You told Abby but you won’t tell me or Simon?”

“It’s complicated,” I said.

“Having a crush is anything but complicated,” Leah said. “One day you realize you like someone, later you realize they’ll never like you back, you cry a little bit, move on with your life, start the cycle over.”

“That sounds really sad, Leah.”

“It is,” she said. “Love is a garbage emotion. You spend your entire life wishing for it, but end up getting screwed over at the slightest hint of it.”

“I’d like to think that it’s a beautiful emotion,” I said. “I think love is something that everyone deserves a chance to feel, even if it’s platonic or familial.”

“Of course you would think that.” I turned around again to see Simon right behind my chair. “Mr. Hopeless Romantic is back.”

“It always happens when I watch Legally Blonde,” I said.

“Simon, what are your thoughts on love?” Abby asked.

“I’m sixteen,” Simon said. “I love people, but is it even real, or is it just my teenage brain mimicking my environment?”

“That’s introspective,” Abby said.

“Speaking of love,” Leah said. “Since Bram won’t tell us, even after we watched Legally Blonde for him, who do you have a crush on?”

“I’m not doing this again,” Simon said.

“I think we should respect that,” Abby said. “Maybe it’s just too important a secret.”


	9. Study Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram goes to Simon’s house to study

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 9.8.18  
Subject: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Blue, I also kissed my best friend yesterday? What an odd coincidence. It felt like the world was exploding inside my chest.

The strange thing is that I was thinking about you. I was thinking about exactly how I was going to tell you. Is that strange? I think so.

-Jacques

I put my phone in my messenger bag. My mom was telling me something, but I couldn’t hear her over my thoughts. I know that Jacques thinks it’s a coincidence, but what if it isn’t? What if that’s why Simon wouldn’t tell us about his crush?

“Abraham!” I snapped out of my thoughts. She never uses my full name, I hate it. No one in the twenty-first century is named Abraham.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“What time am I picking you up from Simon’s?”

“The game starts at six, so maybe at five so I can get my stuff together?” 

“Where are you today?”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I said. “You know how sleepovers are.”

I don’t exactly mind lying to my mom. I’m not the type of kid to sneak out, or do drugs, so I really only lie about the little things. Stuff like “No, I didn’t eat those Cheetos” and “I cleaned my room.”

“Try and take a nap at Simon’s,” she said. “I don’t want you napping on the soccer field.”

“Will do, Mom.” I knew that I wasn’t going to nap, I got ten hours of sleep. Abby also made me get coffee at Waffle House for her Instagram.

“He’s here.” I looked out the front window and saw the maroon car pull into our street. I grabbed my bag and walked out the door.

I popped into his passenger seat. “When you drop me off can you tell my mom that we took a nap?” I asked. “I told her that we didn’t sleep a wink last night.”

“Why would you tell her that?” he asked. “You got ten hours of sleep.”

“Because she wouldn’t believe me if I told her that I was just having an off day.”

“Not feeling it today?”

“Something like that.”

“I’m hyper-aware today,” he said. “I’ve been noticing every little thing. I think I’m having a long, drawn-out panic attack.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, part of it being drawn out means that it’s not as extreme. Has that ever happened to you?”

“Nope,” I said. “My panic attacks are full forced all the time.”

“Are you still doing better?”

“I mean, in the grand scheme of things. Today just isn’t going well.”

“Did something happen or is it unprovoked?” Simon always understands exactly what’s going through my head. It’s a little scary sometimes.

“Mostly unprovoked,” I lied.

Alice was sitting on the couch when I walked in. “You’ll never believe this, Bram,” she said, walking over.

“What?”

“My parents aren’t home.”

“They weren’t here to greet you for your first weekend away from college?”

“Nope,” she said with a smile. “I told them that I’m coming in tonight.

“They really believed that you were coming in Saturday night just to leave Sunday at noon?”

“I told them that I had class last night that I couldn’t miss,” she said. “They told me to stay home, but I wouldn’t miss Nora’s birthday for the world.”

“She didn’t tell me either,” Simon said. “I would’ve gone with Nick and Garrett last night if I had known.”

“But you wouldn’t have gotten to see Legally Blonde,” I said.

“You got my brother to watch Legally Blonde? I’ve been trying since third grade.”

“He’s the one who convinced Abby and Leah.”

“He did what?” Alice turned to look at Simon who had a huge smile on his face.

“It’s one of Bram’s favorites, but he’s non-confrontational. I had to argue for him.”

Alice muttered something under her breath and Simon hit her in the arm. “Bram, have you seen To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before yet?”

“I’ve been so busy with English,” I said. And Jacques, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“It’s all cued up downstairs,” she said.

“Thanks, but we have pre-calc homework,” I said. Alice left and Simon and I walked into the kitchen.

I really wanted to bring up the game. I wanted to tell him how much the kiss meant to me, but I just pulled out my textbook. I wanted to kiss him again, but I just helped him find the right page.


	10. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some emails that are a little flirty ensue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another email chapter babey :)

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: Halloween Oreos

Blue. I have just seen the first package of Halloween Oreos for the season. It is time.

-Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: Re: Halloween Oreos

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh I’m so excited! It’s really hard to portray excitement through text without sounding sarcastic. Believe me when I say that I am truly excited for this period of growth and prosperity.

-Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: Re: Halloween Oreos

I wish I could share Halloween Oreos with you :( (and by share I mean we both have separate Oreos, I don’t share Oreos) I just want to see your face. I bet you’re cute ;)

As much as I’d love to email you a twenty-page long email I have to finish my book for English. It’s good, but reeeeaaaalllly loooonnnnng.

-Jacques

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: Re: Halloween Oreos

I’m very cute ;) The cutest person you’ll ever meet say all of my friends. If, by friends, you mean my mom. But I don’t think she’s met you, so who’s to say?

I finished my long book last night, so I could write a twenty-page long email for you. As a reward for finishing the book. An incentive, if you will. You just have to promise you won’t read it until you finish. Pinky promise.

-Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: Re: Halloween Oreos

Okay, I pinky promise

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: A Masterpiece of Literature

Okay, here goes.

Once there was a tiny boy living in Georgia. This boy has a name, but we’ll call him Purple. Purple grew up in Georgia with some mediocre friends who he didn’t mind leaving when he moved. He moved to the other side of the state to go to Riverlog, where he met many important people.

One of the most important people he met wasn’t necessarily a school friend. Sure, they went to the same school, but they didn’t know each other at school. They met on the school Tumblr. This new friend also has a name, but we’ll call him Baguette.

Purple and Baguette became very good friends. They told each other everything, who they liked, what they dream about, even what foods they love. They told each other every little thing, just not their names.

One day, Purple and Baguette found out that they had something in common. They both have a crush on their best friend. They even kissed their best friends on the same day. One might think they’re psychically linked. Another might think it’s an odd coincidence. Another might think that it is a sad person emailing themselves from a different account. That person would be wrong.

Purple and Baguette both hope to meet up in the future, but only when they are ready. They want to live happily ever after. The end.

Okay, it’s not twenty pages, but it’s getting late. Besides, there’s someone I want to email in the morning ;)

-Blue

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 9.18.18  
Subject: Re: A Masterpiece of Literature

I broke the pinky promise. I loved your story, but I just don’t think it’s realistic. Nothing like that could ever happen. From the beginning, I just couldn’t believe a thing.

In all honesty, I hope to meet up with you in the future. Whenever you’re ready I am. Is it soon? Sorry, I don’t want to pressure you or anything. Just give me the green light when you’re good.

-Jacques

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would write “shameless self promo here” but nothing I’ve ever done in my life has been shameless. Shame filled self promo here
> 
> My Instagram is @ASimpleCherryTree if any of y’all want to follow I post crappy art and will announce my fanfic updates


	11. Boy Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram confides in Abby about Jacques

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually, there are boy problems in all of the chapters, but Carly Rae Jepsen is iconic, so I needed to dedicate at least one chapter to her. This one’s for you, Carly

Simon texted me on Monday morning about his head cold. He told me that his mom was making him stay home, but that he desperately wanted to be in school. I think he’s mostly just worried about missing our Dorothy Must Die discussion so that he can get ideas for his essay. I decided to surprise him with a recording of the class.

My mom dropped me off out front earlier than usual. She had to get to a meeting and insisted that I should take the bus, but I wouldn’t dare get on a bus. A Petri dish for viral infections on top of motion sickness.

I walked to the library where only Abby was waiting. She was still getting her knitting needles out of her backpack.

“You’re early,” she said without looking up.

“My mom had a meeting.”

“My brother called this morning,” she said. “I think he wants to move out here without my dad.”

“He can’t move a month into the school year,” I said. “That would be terrible.”

“That’s what I told him,” she said. “Can I tell you something that makes me sound selfish?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve kind of like having a taste of being an only child. I love my brother, and I miss my cousins like crazy, but I like how quiet it is in my own room.”

“I’ve never been anything but an only child,” I said. “I know so many people that say they get lonely, but honestly, I’m relieved sometimes. I have this friend that has two sisters and he’s constantly busy with their things and their lives. I have my own life.”

“Who is this friend?” Abby asked. I could lie, say that it’s Simon, but she would know that that’s a lie.

“He’s an online friend. His name is Jacques.”

“That’s kind of an old man name,” she said.

“It’s a pen name.”

“How intriguing.” She set down her needles and put her head in her hands. “So he’s anonymous?”

“Yeah. He goes to our school, so there’s a risk of us knowing each other.”

“And that’s a bad thing because?”

“I’m scared? It’s another gay guy at our school, and things have gotten kind of flirty, and we’re kind of going on a date to the homecoming game?”

“How are you going on a date with a guy who won’t tell you his name?”

“We’ll be in the same place at the same time. That’s why I said kind of.” Now that I say it out loud, it sounds crazy.

“What if it is someone you know?” Abby asked. “What would you do?”

“Call me crazy, but I want you to read this email,” I said. I pulled out my phone and scrolled back to the night of the sleepover. I handed it over to her. “Read my email and the one he responded with.”

I watched Abby react to the emails as she read them. It felt weird to share this world with her. Especially since I’ve talked about her (indirectly, of course) in the emails, just not this one.

She handed me my phone back. “That’s an odd coincidence,” she said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“You know what they say,” Abby said. “‘When something seems like an unbelievable coincidence, then consider that it might not be a coincidence.’”

“I’ve never heard anyone say that,” I said.

“I’ve heard it in passing,” she said. “But the point still stands. It might not be a coincidence, Bram.”

“What do you mean?” Of course, I knew what she meant, I just wanted to hear her say it so that I know I’m not crazy.

“I think you might know your anonymous boyfriend.”

“He’s NOT my boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah? Aren’t you going on a date?”

“I mean, yeah.”

“Did you decide on the date around the same time that Simon agreed to go to the game with you?”

“Actually, he told me that his friend convinced him that it was fun.”

“You’re kidding.”

“It can’t be, though,” I said.

“Why not?”

“Wouldn’t Simon have told me?”

“Why would he? You didn’t tell him.” I looked Abby in the eyes. I knew what she was thinking and she knew what I was thinking.

“I’m gonna email him,” I said. I pulled my phone back out and started typing.

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 9.19.18  
Subject: Thinking

How are you feeling today? I’m just thinking about some stuff, and I’m wondering about your well being. After all, you did stay up late last night to finish that book.

-Blue

I set my phone on the table so that I would be sure to hear the buzz. I finally sat next to Abby on the beanbag chair.

“Did you ask him directly?” she asked.

“I asked how he was feeling. Si is home with a head cold today, so I think that might tell me something.”

“He’s gonna miss our English discussion,” Abby said.

“I’m recording it for him. He doesn’t know, though, so don’t tell him.”

“That’s a weird surprise.”

“He’ll enjoy it,” I said. “Trust me.”

The phone buzzed on the table and I scrambled to pick it up.

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 9.19.18  
Subject: Re: Thinking

I think staying up too late gave me a cold :( I have the biggest headache. I just wish I’d known that I’d be sick so I would have had an extra day to finish the book. It was good, though.

So what were you thinking about that concerned my well-being?

-Jacques

I passed the phone to Abby silently. Her eyes widened as she read it. “It’s definitely Si.”

“I know.”

When Simon walked into the library the next day I had my phone open to Voice Memos. I pressed play on Mr. Wise talking about the central themes of Dorothy Must Die. He smiled and sat next to me on the beanbag chair.

Abby poked me in the side. I paused the recording. “I’ll send it to you later,” I said. “It’s like twenty minutes long.”

“I can listen to it at lunch,” he said. “Garrett told me that I didn’t miss out on much in Chem.”

“No, it was just a review day. And you’re all caught up in pre-Calc.”

“Thanks to you.” Abby poked me again, harder this time. I had been up late thinking about how I was going to approach it.

“Si, who do you have a crush on?” He groaned.

“You too? I thought Abby stopped you guys.”

“I was fully committed to stopping, but I think I know who it is.”

“Really?” he asked, his eyebrow raised. If I’m wrong this will all blow up in my face, but I have a feeling that I’m not.

“I’m 95% sure.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Is your ringer on?” He pulled out his phone and clicked the ringer on. “Perfect.”

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 9.20.18  
Subject: Testing Testing 123

I hope to God that I’m right about this, otherwise, this email is incomprehensible.

-ALG

I hit send. Everything was silent for half a second, but then the three of us heard Simon’s phone go off. His eyes went wide and a smile went to his face. He pulled out his phone and read the notification. And I waited for his response.


	12. He Figured it Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the email.

Simon looked up from his phone and at me. “Abraham Louis Greenfeld,” he said.

“Yep.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“Abby, mostly,” I said. We both looked over at her. She had her knitting needles out, but she wasn’t knitting. She smiled up at us. “I showed her some emails and she told me a quote about coincidences.”

“She’s smart.”

“So?”

“I think you know,” he said. “I only told you the truth.”

“And I’m your best friend, right?”

“Of course you are.”

“That’s what I thought, but you never know. You’ve known Nick since kindergarten.”

“I promise I don’t have a crush on Nick. He’s more like a brother.”

“You’re obviously my best friend,” I said. Simon smiled.

“Wait, you thought that I had a crush on Abby?” Abby looked up at us. I was only a little bit mortified.

“Well, you see, I’m what we in the biz call Big Dumb.” Simon laughed.

“Can we go back?” Abby asked. “I need to know more.”

“I thought he liked you,” I said. “He isn’t the huggiest person, but he was all over you and obsessed with everything you had to say.”

“So were you,” Abby said. “And I don’t know what you mean about Simon not being huggy, you’re in his lap constantly.”

“I’m very huggy, Bram,” he said. “The problem is that I hang out with Leah and Nick.”

“Can I get a hug?” I asked. Simon grabbed my shoulders and hugged me real tight. 

I sat next to Garrett at the lunch table. “You’re glowing, Greenfeld,” he said.

“Am I?”

“Yeah. Spill.”

“Well, I just found out that my crush likes me back.”

“You have a crush? I need more information.”

“I was the first to know,” Abby said, sliding her chair in. “Quickly followed by Leah.”

“Wait, you didn’t even tell Simon?”

“No,” I said, innocently as possible. “Why would I?”

“He’s your second best friend, followed by me.”

“Okay, Garrett.” I smiled at Abby who giggled a little.

“So, who is it?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough,” Simon said, sitting down on the other side of Abby. “So I guess homecoming is no longer only kind of a date?”

“Oh, obviously,” I said. Garrett opened his mouth like he was about to say something. “I can’t wait. We should take pictures at my house.”

“Oh, my mom would kill me if she didn’t get pictures. Obviously, I’ve never gone to the game or dance.”

“Should we go to the dance together?”

“I thought you said it would be bigger.”

“That’s prom, buddy.” 

Garrett finally worked up the nerve to say something. “When did this happen? I feel like I did when I finally got back to Shady Creek.”

“Well, last year and also this morning,” I said. “It’s a long story.”

“A very cute story,” Abby said. She rested her head in her hands. “Can I tell him?”

“Sure,” Simon said. “You are a character in it.”

“I am! I’m the winner of the story!”

“That’s not how I would describe it, but you played a crucial role,” I said.

“Okay, is anyone going to tell me the story or are you going to discuss the semantics of the story?”

“Okay, okay,” Abby started. “It started last year, apparently. They started emailing anonymously, Bram figured him out with my help, and this morning he emailed him and told him. I actually don’t have a lot of the details.”

“I’ll tell it,” I said.

“The honor is yours, Mr. Hopeless Romantic,” Simon said.

“So it started last May,” I said. “I posted that post on the Tumblr about being a closeted lonely gay kid. I was just sad and brooding, so I hit the post button and thanked God for anonymity. I got a comment and kind of freaked out. I emailed the commenter and ended up getting one back.

“As the months went by, our emails started getting more and more flirtatious. I told the anonymous emailer that, as much as I enjoyed flirting with him, I had a crush on my best friend. He said that he did, too, so we described our best friends. We told each other everything. Including the day that we boat kissed our best friends in a game of Spin the Bottle.

“He thought that it was just a coincidence, but I had a feeling. I told Abby about the emails, and she shared a quote with me. To paraphrase, ‘if something seems like a wild coincidence, it might not be a coincidence.’ I sent an email that I knew would prove my theory.

“The next day, that would be today, I asked Simon to turn on his ringer. I sent a test email using my initials instead of the moniker I usually would. He got the email and we all lived happily ever after the end.”

“You know, it’s been three hours. That’s not necessarily happily ever after.”

“I have been happy for those three hours,” Simon said.

“You forgot an important part,” Abby said. “You thought that Simon had a crush on me.”

“That isn’t important to the story, Abby,” I said.

“It was really obvious,” Garrett said. “Like when he asked you to sit on his lap last weekend.”

“It was?” Simon asked.

“Of course. I told Leah but she didn’t believe me. In fact—“ He turned around. Leah was walking over to the table. “Hey Burke, you owe me five bucks.”

“You were right?” Leah asked. “Aw, Bram, that’s amazing.”

“I told Leah before you woke up,” I explained to Simon.

“My money, Leah.” Leah pulled a crumpled five-dollar bill out of her pocket and set it in front of Garrett.

“I really need to stop taking bets with you.”

“I’m always right.”


	13. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram and Simon go to homecoming

My hands started shaking while I walked down the stairs. I grabbed onto the railing and kept going.

My mom was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with my hoodie. “It might get down to forty, Bram,” she said. “Is one hoodie really going to be enough?”

“If I get too cold I can borrow a denim jacket from Simon,” I said. “He keeps like three in his car.” She handed me the hoodie.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed her car keys. “Can I talk to you about something before I leave?”

“Of course, hon,” she said. I sat down in the armchair next to the couch.

“I’m gay, Mom.”

She nodded. She didn’t express any emotion on her face. “Thank you for telling me. I’m very proud of you for feeling brave enough to tell me. Is there anything else that I should know?” She always knows.

“Uh, yeah, I’m actually going to the game with Simon.”

“I know.”

“But like, with Simon,” I said, putting an emphasis on the ‘with.’

“Like a date?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re sleeping over at his place tonight?” Oh God oh no.

“Yeah, with Abby, Nick, and Garrett. Leah isn’t a homecoming person.”

“You know, Bram, safety is my number one issue.”

“Mom, Abby, Nick, and Garrett are going to be there.”

“I need to talk to you about this now. Even if nothing happens tonight, it will happen in the future, and I need to make sure that you are safe. Every time, including oral.”

“God, Mom, I’m not doing anything.”

“I’d rather you be over-prepared than under-prepared,” she said.

“I’d rather not be having the sex talk before my very first date,” I mumbled under my breath. She stood up from the couch and walked over to my chair. She kissed me on the forehead.

“I love you, Bram.”

“I love you, too, Mom.”

I pulled into Simon’s driveway and got out of my car. Because of my conversation, I was the last one there.

“Sorry, I got a little held up with my mom,” I said.

“We’re still going to be an hour early for the game,” Simon said.

“Yeah, you’ve ever been to a homecoming game before,” I said. I looked around for his parents, but I didn’t see them. Abby, Nick, and Garrett were having an intense debate about Hawaiian pizza. “Hey, I came out to my mom like five minutes ago.”

“Was it weird?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, she gave me The Talk.”

“Oh no.”

“Yeah, but she was accepting and whatever. I guess that’s all I could ask for.”

“No, I’m glad I didn’t get The Talk.”

“You came out to your parents?”

“Yeah, on Wednesday. I figured it would be hard to hide it tonight, given how much I want to squeeze you right now.” I looked at his dopey grin, illuminated by the orange sky behind me. I wrapped my arms around him.

“I’m glad your parents aren’t scarring you for life,” I whispered in his ear.

“It was that bad?” he asked when he pulled away.

“Not really, but I’ll never forget the face she made when she said the word ‘oral.’” Simon’s nose scrunched up.

Emily walked out of the front door with her phone and a Polaroid. “Who’s ready time take pictures?”

“Mom, can’t we take pictures before the dance like normal high schoolers?” Simon asked.

“You all look so adorable in your school colors,” she said. I was wearing my red hoodie because it’s what Simon and I were wearing the day we met. Simon either had the same thought or only owned one piece of red clothing.

“We aren’t always adorable?” Garrett asked. “I’m shocked you would say something like that, Emily.”

“Garrett, you’re adorable,” Nick said, squeezing his cheeks. “I’ll have to have you over for cookies sometime.”

Garrett stuck his tongue out. I saw a flash and realized that Emily took a picture of Garrett and Nick. I smiled. I want a copy of that picture, to remember the authenticity of my first date.

We pulled into the parking lot and Garrett made a beeline for the ticket booth. A line was already starting to form.

“I told you we needed to be early,” I said to Simon. He was still standing next to the door. We all agreed that Garrett would save our space in line, but I figured Simon would be smart enough to know that if you cut in front of too many people you’re in trouble. “What’s up?”

“I’m just waiting for a second.” Abby and Nick tapped their feet on the asphalt. We were all waiting for Simon, but he was just standing next to his car.

“Simon, can we go?” I asked. “It’s warmer in the bleachers.”

“There it is,” he said. He opened up the side door and grabbed a denim jacket. “Let’s go.”

He wrapped the denim jacket around my shoulders as we walked. Nick and Abby were walking in front of us—very slowly, I might add—and I noticed them link pinkies. I nudged Simon’s shoulder and pointed. He looked over at me and smiled.

“They’re just adorable,” he whispered. Abby whipped around.

“Who?”

“Who do you think?” Simon asked. Nick turned around and grabbed Abby’s hand.

“What happened here?” I asked.

“It’s not magical,” Abby said. “I just told him that I like him and he was reciprocal. No romantic emails or anything, if you were wondering.”

“We can’t all be us,” Simon said. I smiled over at him and the four of us started walking again.

As soon as we got inside the stadium I grabbed Simon’s hand and pulled him over to concessions. “Let’s get lemonade,” I said.

“And Oreos,” Simon said.

“I think some parents made Oreo brownies,” I said. Simon’s eyes were full of glee. “Let’s go.” We stepped into line, and I didn’t even feel weird about holding his hand.


	14. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The homecoming dance

I’ve never gone to a school dance before. Abby was in my bedroom helping me get ready. Leah was with Simon, but they refused to let us see each other until the dance. I’m no expert, but I believe that that is a wedding rule.

Abby was sitting on my bed looking for her concealer in her makeup bag when Leah FaceTimed her. She hit the answer.

“Are you in the room with Ham Sandwich?” I heard on the phone.

“Yeah, do you need me to leave?” Abby asked.

“Yeah, but I need to keep an eye on Spray Paint to make sure that he doesn’t FaceTime Ham Sandwich.” Abby smiled and stepped out of my room.

I started poking through the makeup bag. Abby has a lot of makeup for someone who doesn’t wear any to school. Multiple eyeshadow palettes, multiple identical tubes of liquid in various shades of brown, and a lot of highlighters.

I picked up a black pencil and rolled it over in my hands. It said “eyeliner pencil” on it. Abby walked back into the room.

“I think this is your shade,” she said, picking up one of the tubes. She grabbed a pink sponge and put the liquid on my face.

I turned on my iPod while waiting for Abby to finish her makeup. “What do you want to listen to?” I asked.

“How much Beyoncé do you have?” she asked.

“I might have Single Ladies?”

“That’s so boring,” she groaned. “Here.”  
She tossed her phone onto my bed unlocked.

I opened her Spotify and selected Lemonade. I pressed shuffle and heard the opening notes to Formation.

My phone started vibrating with a text from Simon. Abby was doing her mascara, so I looked down.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I said. She nodded, so I walked over to my bathroom and FaceTimed Simon as soon as I shut the door.

He was wearing sunglasses. “My mom is taking more pictures tonight,” he said.

“Good Lord,” I said. “You’d think she’d be out of frames.”

“She ran out of frames years ago. She only buys so many to keep up with her habits, that’s what her Facebook is for.”

“She’s posting these on Facebook?”

“Only group pictures,” he said quickly. “But I’ll make sure that our pictures are my lock screen.”

“Adorable,” I said. “You’re already my lock screen. It’s the picture Nick took at the sleepover.”

“Nick took a picture at the sleepover?”

“Oops?” It’s a picture of Simon balancing a full pizza box on his head.

“I need to see this.”

“Nope!” Abby started banging on the door. I watched the corner of the screen as my eyes went wide. I pressed the end call.

“Abraham Greenfeld I can hear you!”

I opened the door. She shook her head. “Why was he wearing sunglasses?” I asked.

“You aren’t supposed to know, dingus,” she said. “Let’s take a quick picture with your mom before we leave.

I stepped out of Abby’s car and ran over to Simon. He was facing Leah, who I non-verbally told to stay quiet. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“I’m not wearing my sunglasses, Lee,” he said.

“Just turn around.”

Simon turned around. I saw black lines lining his eyes. He looked pretty attractive. 

“You look nice,” he said.

“You look better.”

“No I—“ I cut him off. I kissed him quickly. I pulled away and examined his eyes to make sure he wasn’t uncomfortable. He kissed me back.

Abby walked over. “Hey, I just want you to know that your mom got a picture of that,” she said. “And it’s good quality.”

“Lock screen?” I asked.

“Lock screen,” he said.


	15. English Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A discussion in English class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt this will be an issue, but there are Dorothy Must Die spoilers in this chapter. If you plan on reading the series and haven’t finished the first book, you may want to hold off until you’ve finished. Or just read anyways, and live with spoilers. Who cares?

Abby was laying on the couch when we walked into the classroom. “I can’t keep saving your seats,” she said. “Cheer practices start tomorrow and apparently we have to get active before school for our metabolism. We’re doing group runs.”

”That sounds unpleasant,” Simon said.

”Such is life when you’re on a team,” Abby said. “They think appearances are the biggest thing. I don’t mind, though. Cassie and I used to jog around the neighborhood every morning.”

Garrett slid her feet off of the couch to sit down. Simon slid in next to her and I sat in between him and Garrett.

“I can take your place,” I said. “I’ll just leave the library when you usually do.”

“And leave me alone with Garrett?” Simon asked. “That’s cruel and unusual punishment.”

“I’m right here, Spier.”

“I’m not wrong, Laughlin.”

“Come with me,” I said. “We can save the couch together.”

Mr. Wise walked into the room. We hadn’t started writing our essays yet. Mr. Wise insisted on us coming to a natural stopping point in our discussion of the book, so we are now on discussion day five.

He set his tattered copy of Dorothy Must Die on his desk. I don’t know how a book that came out less than a decade ago can be so torn up, but he does open it pretty frequently.

“I think that we left off Friday discussing Glamora and Glinda?” he asked. Taylor Metternich nodded happily. “Taylor, what did you think about Glamora’s scar?”

“I think that it was a physical representation of emotional abuse. The symbolism of the power that Glinda held over her twin because of Dorothy.”

“I was actually talking about the fact that she hides it, but that’s okay. I’ll go to Bram with that one.”

I held my book in my lap. He always calls on me. I think it’s because he wants to further the discussion, but it seems like Taylor and I control the discussion.

“I thought that it was really interesting that she did hide it,” I said. “Because she was so adamant about Glinda seeing it when they eventually face off. I think that she wanted to save it, or that she wanted Glinda to know that she was choosing not to cover it.” Simon raised his hand next to me.

“Mr. Spier,” Mr. Wise said.

“As much sense as Bram’s interpretation makes, I believe that she hid the scar because it’s a huge hole in her cheek and she’s very concerned with etiquette. Everyone knows that it’s rude to chew with your mouth open.” I looked over at Simon. He gave me a big smile. I rolled my eyes.

“She is very concerned with etiquette, isn’t she?” Mr. Wise said. “Where do you think that comes from?”

“It’s no secret that she isn’t a princess,” Simon said. “She’s just a witch. She isn’t a hotshot like her sister, she’s just an average witch. Her relationship with Glinda has always been competitive, as it is with most siblings. I think it sparked from competition with Princess Dorothy’s right-hand gal.”

“Competition,” Mr. Wise said. “Competition is a powerful component. Taylor, what are some other ways that competition impacts this book?”

I looked over at Simon. “You paid more attention to the book than usual,” I whispered.

“I felt like I had to after breaking the promise,” he said. “And it was a good book.”

“It really was,” I said. “Amy’s character growth was killer.”

“Nox was a badass,” Simon said. “I’ve also started reading The Wicked Will Rise and his badass status holds up. The book is a little convoluted, though.”

“So you really liked the book,” I said.

“It ended on a cliffhanger, I had to read farther.” I grabbed his hand from his book and put our hands in between us. He smiled at me.

I raised my hand. Mr. Wise nodded at me. “I wanted to talk more about Melindra,” I said. “As much as Amy disliked her, she was an important figure in getting Amy prepared to do her deed. Her perseverance in getting out of the Scarecrow’s lab, as well as the competition in the battle training really fueled Amy’s mental inclination towards killing Dorothy.”

“There’s another example of competition,” Mr. Wise said. “Thank you, Bram. Does anyone have anything to add about Melindra?”

After class, I walked with Simon to our lockers. “I have a question,” he said.

“Shoot.”

“How out are you willing to be at school? Because I couldn’t care less, I’d print the picture from Saturday and post it all over the walls if you were chill with it.”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. Obviously, our friends know, and if people like Taylor Metternich ask, I couldn’t care less, but I don’t want everyone to know.”

“People like Taylor Metternich?”

“People we know. We’re not friends with her, but you’re in theatre with her and she’s nice enough.”

“Speaking of theatre, auditions for Oliver! are on Friday.”

“That’s exciting,” I said. I linked my arm in his and we walked down to pre-calc together.


	16. Dancing in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-calc finals and a scene a little different from the book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that the updates are getting more infrequent, my school year hasn’t started yet (they delayed it to next week to figure out schedules and stuff) but I already have bio homework :( it’s probably for the best that this slows down during the school year, but I’ll try to update as often as possible.

After school, I called Simon. “Hey, Abby and I are going to WaHo tonight, want to join us?”

“Sure,” he said. “Do you want to sleep over tonight?”

“It’s a school night, Si.”

“I know, but we don’t have to be at school until noon.”

“If I can convince my mom,” I said. “How did you get your mom to agree to this?”

“I didn’t. She’s in Savannah for a conference, so my dad’s in charge. Nora’s having a friend over, too.”

“Have him call my mom,” I said. “If she hears from an adult she’s more likely to say yes.”

I hung up and laid down on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling. I wasn’t in a Big Sad moment, I just needed an out of body minute. Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe in. I sat up and called Abby.

“I’m on my way,” I said. “I’m stopping at Si’s first, though.”

“You’re taking Simon all the way out here and driving him back?”

“Oh, we’re not coming back,” I said. “I’ve got a surprise. And it’s only twenty minutes.”

“Bram, I swear.”

“Love you, Abby.”

“Abrah-“ I hung up. I ran down the stairs and grabbed my mom’s keys off the counter. Her phone started ringing, so I waved and walked out of the kitchen.

“Abraham Louis Greenfeld,” Abby said as soon as she got in the car. “Where in the world are we going?”

“Are we not going to WaHo?” Simon asked. “Did I bring my pre-calc book for nothing?”

“We can study tonight,” I said. “But we’re going somewhere else.”

I pulled out of Abby’s driveway. I handed Simon the aux cord. He smiled and plugged in his phone. I looked at the screen of my radio and back at Abby.

Abby sat up straighter in her seat. “If there’s a prize for rotten judgment,” she sang. “I guess I’ve already won that.”

“No man is worth the aggravation,” I sang. Simon and I turned to look at each other. “That’s ancient history, been there, done that.”

We listened to the Hercules soundtrack on shuffle until I pulled into the parking lot. Simon looked over at me and crossed his arms. “A gay bar?”

“A gay restaurant,” Abby corrected. “With a bar in the back. I read about it online when Bram came out.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you would get a boyfriend immediately. I wanted somewhere to bring you during Sad Boy Hours.”

“I don’t think it works the same as Sad Girl Hours,” Simon said.

“Whatever,” she said. “Why are we here, Bram?”

“Because tonight they’re serving free ice cream cake.”

“I have ice cream cake in my freezer right now,” Abby said.

“Free Oreo ice cream cake.”

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Simon said.

“So do it.” He leaned over the center console and kissed me. I put my hand on his face and kissed him back.

“Ahem.” Abby unlocked her door by opening it. “Ice cream cake?”

I pulled my keys out of the car and stepped out. The three of us walked into the restaurant together.

The first thing I noticed was the music. Selena was blasting through the speakers. The second thing I noticed was just how many rainbows there were inside. The tables had rainbow tablecloths, the menus on the wall behind the bar were entirely rainbow, even the floor had rainbow tile. There was nowhere in the restaurant where you would be able to take a monochromatic selfie.

“Table for three?” the receptionist asked.

“Yes, please,” I said.

“Right this way.” He led us to a table right next to the bar. I sat down next to Simon and Abby sat across from us.

Abby looked down the menu for a second before setting it down. “Bram, can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,” I said.

“Why did you invite me? Was it just to add to the charade?”

“I thought you would have fun,” I said. “You like ice cream cake, and you like music, and you like your friends.”

“Yeah, but Leah likes all of those things.”

“Leah actually doesn’t like ice cream cake,” Simon said. “But that’s irrelevant.”

“For one thing, I had to keep up the charade,” I said. “But I’ve also come to consider you one of my best friends. I love Leah, but we’re not the closest.”

“I’m one of your best friends?” Her face lit up.

“Yeah, you, Simon, and Garrett. Garrett really wouldn’t enjoy this, though.”

“Fragile masculinity?”

“Going out to dinner. He doesn’t like sitting at a table surrounded by people who are eating.“

“Huh,” she said. “What about the cafeteria?”

“Hates it. Next year I’m taking him off campus to eat every single day.”

“Hey, can I tell you two something?”

“Yeah,” Simon said. “Anything.”

“So, I have a crush on Nick.”

“You told us last weekend,” I said.

“But I also maybe have a crush on Leah? That’s why I wanted to know why you brought me. Like, if you suspected anything.”

“I just thought you would have a good time,” I said. “That’s amazing Abbs, thanks for telling us.”

Simon walked around the table and wrapped her in a hug. “I love you so much, Abby.”

“Oh my God, y’all, this is my song,” she said. She stood up and grabbed Simon’s hand. I looked over at Simon.

“Y’all?” I whispered. He shrugged and put his hands on Abby’s waist. They quickly slow danced to Toxic by Britney Spears. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of them. I sent it to Abby’s phone that was upside down on the table.

The song switched to No Air by Jordin Sparks. Simon let go of Abby and turned to look at me. He extended his hand for me to grab. “May I have this dance?”

“Of course.” I grabbed his hands and we danced around the bar area with a bunch of (presumably) gay guys who had been summoned to the dance floor by Britney Spears.


	17. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all

I shut my computer after finishing my essay. I spent the better part of two hours trying to knock off the 200 words above the word limit and finally reached 997 words at 9:02 PM. I pushed off from my desk and swiveled towards my bed. I launched myself out of the chair into my bed and pulled out my phone.

-are you doing anything after school tomorrow- I sent to Simon. I opened my Spotify to turn on some music. My phone buzzed in my hand as I selected Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen.

-no why- I pressed shuffle and opened my texts. -want to go to WaHo- -are you asking me on a date- I looked away from my phone and smiled. Technically homecoming was our first date, but it felt different. It was really only a date to prove a point to Garrett. -of course- -sure :)-

My mom walked into my room. She didn’t knock, but my door was open, so I can’t really blame her. “Were you going to get this?” she asked. She was holding my essay in her hands.

“I was going to grab it in the morning,” I said. “It’s late, Mom.”

“It’s nine. And you’re blasting Carly Rae Jepsen so loud that Abby could probably hear it.”

“She loves Carly Rae Jepsen,” I said. “I was doing her a favor.”

“Turn it down, Bee.” I smiled at her use of my nickname. “Do you want to go see LuLu this weekend?”

“When would we leave?”

“Well, since it’s five or six hours to Savannah during rush hour, we would leave right after school tomorrow.”

“I’m going to Waffle House tomorrow.”

“Didn’t you already take your finals?”

“Well, those were midterms, but it’s not to study. I’m hanging out with Simon.”

“You see Simon all the time, you haven’t seen your baby cousin yet.”

“Can’t we leave after I get back? Or Saturday morning?“

“You’ll see him at school tomorrow.”

“Mom, it’s our first date.”

“Oh.” She walked over to my desk and set down my papers. “We’ll leave at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday morning. I want you home by eight, though, and you’re driving the first two hours.” I stood up and walked over to my mom.

“Thank you, Mama. I love you.”

“Have fun on your date, Bee.”

I sat down on the couch right when I walked into the school. Mr. Wise was grading papers at his desk when I walked in.

“Mr. Greenfeld, you’re here earlier than usual.”

“Yeah, Garrett is coming in late because of an appointment, so Simon and I agreed that we would just meet up here.”

“You and Mr. Spier seem to be extra close these days.”

“We are,” I said. “I didn’t think you would have noticed.”

“Everyone has noticed. At the beginning of the school year, the two of you were best friends. I didn’t think there was another stage of friendship.” I bit back a smile. Is this the male equivalent of gal pals?

“There is,” I said. “It’s called dating.”

“Oh.” Mr. Wise said. “I didn’t know that people dated their best friends.”

“They do,” I said. “I do.”

“Good for you, Mr. Greenfeld. That will make the holidays easier. You know exactly what he will want.”

I’m really pleased that he didn’t say anything about my sexuality. I guess that it really isn’t his business, but I am the one who brought up the fact that we’re dating.

“I already have his gift.”

“What is it?”

“Well, it’s an inside joke.” Simon walked in the door to the classroom and sat down next to me. Mr. Wise nodded and went back to grading papers. I looked over at Simon and smiled.

“I don’t have to be home until eight tonight,” I said.

“So that means ten plates of waffles?”

“That’s not healthy, Si. It means twelve cups of lemonade.”

“That’s not healthy, either, but whatever.” I rolled my eyes and pulled out my folder.

“It’s healthier than eating 10,000 calories of pure sugar.” He put his head on my shoulder. “Plus all of the Oreos we’re bound to have.”

“Oreos are the healthiest food there is,” Simon countered.

“That just isn’t true.”

“It is, though. Why would they taste good if they weren’t healthy?”

“Sugar, Si.”

“Chocolate reduces your risk of heart disease.”

“It reduces the risk of dementors.”

“See?”

I pulled into the Waffle House parking lot and turned off my radio. I stepped out of my car and walked over to Simon’s. “Let’s go,” I said. “I forgot to eat lunch.”

“It’s your fault for trying to reenact your favorite scene from Enchanted.”

“I can’t simply reenact one scene,” I said. “I had to finish out the movie.”

“Yeah, but it would’ve been awkward if Abby hadn’t done it with you.”

“Sure.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his car. We walked to the restaurant and walked in.

I sat down at our usual table and Simon sat across from me. Giselle, the waitress that works Fridays, walked over.

“Y’all are earlier than usual,” she said.

“We came straight from school,” Simon said.

“Neither of you could give Abby a ride in your minivans?”

“Abby’s not coming,” I said. “It’s just the two of us tonight.”

“Took you long enough. Two plates of waffles and two lemonades?”

“Yes please,” I said.

“What took us long enough?” Simon asked.

“I’ve been watching you pine after each other since the start of your sophomore year. Or maybe the end of your freshman year, but I was still in high school and didn’t work as often.”

“It was that obvious?” I asked.

“Yeah, you would get flushed as all hell whenever Simon would flirt with you, and Simon flirted with you.”

“That didn’t happen,” I said.

“It most definitely did,” she said.

“I wasn’t flirting,” Simon said.

“Flirting is more than just pickup lines. Every time you said something like ‘you’re the reason I watch rom-coms’ Bram was a blathering mess.”

“He is the reason I watch rom-coms. He really likes them, so I watch his favorites.”

“Yeah, but if you hated them, he has Abby to watch them with.”

“But I don’t hate them,” Simon said.

“Name one thing you like about them.”

“They make Bram smile.”

“I’mma get started on your lemonades.” Giselle turned around and walked behind the counter.

I started picking at the edges of my menu. “How long did Jacques have a crush on his best friend?”

“Since his best friend told him that he still believes in love. What about Blue?”

“I don’t know. It was all of these little things. I don’t think I really knew until I had my gay awakening with my stepmom’s cousin, but I knew for sure right after I got home and you were waiting for me at my house.”

“I didn’t want to go any longer without seeing you.”

“Neither did I.” I smiled at Simon. All of a sudden, I had a little light bulb moment. “Are you busy this weekend?”

“I’m never busy.”

“Hold on a second.” I pulled out my phone. -Can Si come with to Savannah? We’re only staying the one night, right?- “How do your parents feel about you potentially traveling across the state without them?”

“Alice did it her junior year, but we all know that she was the favorite.” I looked down at my phone. -If you have Emily call me-

“Can your mom call mine?”


	18. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A road trip with the boys

I pulled another duffel bag out from under my bed. “Bram, we’re going to be in Savannah for one day, how much could you possibly need?”

“Mom, I need my clothes, gifts for LuLu, and room for gifts from Aunt Kelly.”

“That’s a little forward-thinking, isn’t it?”

“Last time I was in Savannah she gave me a candelabra. Because she ‘didn’t need it anymore.’ Why did she need it in the first place? She’s 24.”

“I think one duffel is fine, Bee.”

“Okay.” I unzipped the blue duffel bag sitting next to my door and pulled out a few things.

“Get to bed soon. We’re leaving at four, so I want you up at 3:30.”

“Night, Mom.” I zipped the bag and set it down. I walked over to my bed and pulled up the blanket to try and get some sleep.

I hit the button to stop my alarm as soon as it went off. Sometimes when I get less sleep I’m extra energized, but it doesn’t last the whole day. I assume I’ll be asleep in the back by six.

I walked down the stairs with my duffel bag on my shoulder and walked into the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the kitchen counter drinking a cup of tea.

“Hey, is Simon awake yet?” she asked.

“I’m barely awake yet. I haven’t even looked at my phone.” Actually, I think I left my phone upstairs, but breakfast is more important. I grabbed a granola bar from behind the knife block. I’ll have some eggs in Savannah.

I sat down next to my mom. “LuLu is six months old now?”

“Yeah, she turned six months last week. And your dad just found out that Becky’s cousin is having a baby, isn’t that fun?”

“Becky’s cousin?” Becky, my stepmom. Becky, who’s cousin sparked my gay awakening. But she has thirty-something cousins.

“Yeah, the one she’s really close with. He was at the wedding, he’s 20, and Aunt Kelly was pretty sure he sat at your table.”

“Ashton?”

“That’s what it was! So you know him?”

“I didn’t really talk to him,” I said. “I spent most of my time with Dad’s relatives.”

“I would have, too,” she said. “I’ve always spent time with the few people I do know, rather than the many that I don’t.”

“I’m gonna grab a hoodie from upstairs real quick,” I said. I shoved the rest of my granola bar in my mouth and ran up the stairs to my bedroom.

My phone was on my end table and my hoodie was on my bedpost. I slipped the hoodie on and grabbed my phone.

-hey, we’ll be at your house in ten- I sent. I threw my phone in my pocket and raced down the stairs.

“Ready to go?” I asked. I grabbed the keys from the bowl by the door and held them in my hand. My mom screwed the lid on her travel cup and joined me in the entryway. I walked out the front door and locked the door behind us.

I pulled into Simon’s driveway at 4:02. The sky was just about pitch black, but you could see the faintest hint of sun to the east. I got out of the car and shut the door as quietly as possible and walked to the front door.

I texted Simon the obligatory “I’m here” before lightly rapping on the door. I doubt Emily and Jack are sleeping, but I wouldn’t want to wake Nora.

I stood in front of the window for a few seconds before the door opened. Simon walked out. He grabbed my cheeks and quickly kissed me. I smiled at him. “I hope you don’t expect me to keep you awake while you’re driving,” he said. “I’m about two minutes away from passing out.”

“I’ve got the High School Musical soundtrack all cued up, you can safely go back to bed.”

I walked with him to the car. I opened his door for him and he giggled. “What a gentleman.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He buckled his seat belt and I shut the door.

“You know,” Simon said quietly from the back seat as I settled into my seat. “This would’ve been illegal two months ago. You’ve only had your license for eight months.”

“Yeah, but now it’s not illegal, so we’re doing it.”

“Goodnight,” he said. He sat his head back on his headrest and closed his eyes. I put the car in reverse and backed out of his driveway.

My mom had planned on staying awake until it was her turn to drive, but she fell asleep around 4:15. I tapped her awake at 5:45 to make sure that she was fully awake at six to trade-off. She opened her eyes and started rubbing them. When she fell asleep, it was pitch black, but now it was starting to lighten up.

“How long until we swap?” she asked.

“Fifteen minutes. And I’m gonna grab some Oreos.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I drove for a few more minutes before getting off at an exit towards a Kwik Trip. I pulled into the parking lot and parked in front of the doors. I stepped out of the car and walked into the gas station.

I walked back into the candy section and grabbed a box of Oreos. I went to the counter to go pay for it.

“Just this?”

“Yeah.”

“$12.70”

“Thanks.” I set down the money and left to go back to my car. What is being sixteen other than buying Oreos for you and your boyfriend at six in the morning in the middle of Georgia?

I walked back out to the car where my mom had settled into the driver seat. Instead of moving to the passenger seat, I opened the door to sit next to Simon.

I buckled my seatbelt as I watched Simon’s eyes flicker open. “Oreos?” he asked, still waking up.

“Here.” I set the box in his lap. “I’m gonna sleep a little, just don’t eat all of them.”

“No promises.”

I put my head on the headrest to get comfortable. I shut my eyes and felt Simon grab my hand. I grabbed his back before falling asleep.


	19. Road Trip 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting little LuLu

I woke up when the car went over the bumps of the driveway. The mostly full package of Oreos jostled around in Simon’s lap. He was just waking up, too.

“Okay, Simon,” my mom said. “We’re staying here tonight and leaving around noon tomorrow. I think you and Bram are taking the living room.”

“That sounds great, Delaney.”

“Are you excited to meet my baby cousin?” I asked.

“Of course! This is your sister’s house, right Delaney?”

“Yeah,” my mom said. “My younger sister. We’re not the closest, because she’s fifteen years younger.”

“Is this going to be awkward?”

“No, she’s still my sister, I’m just way closer with my sister that’s a year younger than me.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Three. And a brother, but I haven’t spoken to him in ten years.”

“He’s in jail,” I said. “And before he went to jail he was a jerk to my grandma.”

“Yeah, so I have the three sisters. Kelly, the one you’re about to meet, Zoey, who is coming tonight, and Tiana, who lives in California.”

“Let’s go,” Simon said. “I can’t wait to meet your family.”

We walked up to the front door and knocked. The door swung open and I saw my Aunt Kelly standing there. “Laney! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Kelly, it’s so nice to see you!” They hugged and took up the doorway. Simon and I stood on the porch silently.

“Bram, you’re so much taller than I remember.”

“I’ve grown six inches since the wedding,” I said.

“It’s been too long. You need to come down every weekend.”

“Aunt Kelly,” I said. “This is my boyfriend, Simon.” She took a step out of the door and gave him a hug.

“Laney has told me so much about you,” she said.

“She has?” I asked. Aunt Kelly nodded.

“I was wondering who the kid all over her Facebook was. Anyways, come on in. I have a plate of cookies that I’m hiding from LuLu.”

I walked into her living room. The only thing that was different about it from the last time I was here was the pictures of LuLu all over the walls. Above the entrance to the kitchen was a huge photo of her sleeping next to the details about the day she was born.

Lucy Jasmine Garcia, 6 pounds, 8 ounces. Born April 8 at 2:21 AM. I looked back at the picture of the sleeping newborn. Despite being a few days old when the picture was taken, she had curls on her head. I looked into the kitchen where she was sleeping in her car seat. Her curls are a lot longer now.

I walked over to the car seat. “She’s so tranquil.”

“She’s always asleep,” Aunt Kelly said. “Just like you.”

“She’s got his face,” Simon said. “That’s just Bram in a dryer.”

“Yeah, they both have my grandpa’s face,” Aunt Kelly said. “An odd coincidence, seeing as none of our siblings look remotely like him.”

“Genetics are weird like that,” Bram said. “But LuLu looks way more like Grandpa than I do.”

LuLu’s eyes started opening. I didn’t notice while she was sleeping, but she has really big eyes. They’re hazel and change colors a little bit as she moves her head around looking for her mom. The light above the counter makes them look a little bit golden.

Aunt Kelly reaches into her seat and grabbed her. “She hardly cries anymore,” she said. “But she never stops eating. I’ll be back in a bit. Why don’t you all settle in?”

I grabbed Simon’s hand and took him to the couch. “Tonight we’re having dinner with my Aunt Zoey and her two kids, and my dad and stepmom,” I said. “So you get to meet my family.”

“Your mom’s family still talks to your dad?”

“Yeah, my mom doesn’t mind. They’ve all known him since they were kids.”

“So is that why your Aunt Kelly was at his wedding?”

“No, they’re not that close. She came with me because I was 15.”

“That makes a lot of sense.”

“Hey, if there’s ever another family wedding, I want you to come with me,” I said. He smiled.

“I’d be glad to go with you.” He kissed me on the forehead.

My mom walked into the living room. “Did you two want tea?”

“I was actually going to make eggs,” I said. “But I’ll take tea, too.”

“Anything for you, Simon?”

“I’m good.”

I walked into the kitchen. There was a carton of eggs in the bottom, so I grabbed it and turned on the stove. There was a knock on the door.

“Can you get that?” Aunt Kelly yelled from her bedroom.

“Eggs,” I said to my mom.

“Boiling water,” she said back. “Si?”

“On it,” he said. I heard the door open and a muffled conversation.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Bram’s friend, who are you?”

“I’m Bram’s dad. This is Becky.” I turned off the stove.

“I thought he was coming for dinner?” I whispered to my mom.

“I guess he’s here early.”

“Ten hours early.” I set down the eggs and walked back into the living room.

“Dad!” I walked over to the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m making a casserole and figured I’d stop by to see you arrive. Guess you beat me.”

“That’s on me,” Becky said. “I was adamant about making you breakfast.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a breakfast burrito.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I would have made one for your friend, too, if I knew he was coming.”

“Oh yeah, this is Simon,” I said. Simon extended his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Greenfeld.”

“Please, it’s Ronald. Are you two school friends?” I looked over at Simon and bit my lip.

“Yeah, we met freshman year,” he said. “We’re always in the same math class, so we’ve gotten pretty close.”

“Thank you,” I mouthed. “I’m assuming you’ve already met LuLu?”

“We met her when she was a month old,” Becky said.

“Isn’t she just a tiny Bram?” Simon asked.

“An exact replica,” my dad replied. “Where is Lucy, anyways?”

“In the bedroom with Aunt Kelly,” I said. “Mom is making tea if you want some.”

“I can make my own tea, thank you, though.” He walked past us into the kitchen.

“Hi, Simon, I’m Becky.”

“Hi, Becky, I heard your wedding was beautiful.”

“It was. I just wish I invited fewer people, I didn’t get to spend much time with everyone.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Simon said. “I want to get married in my back yard in early spring, with my family and close friends.”

“That sounds lovely, Simon.”

“It really does,” I said. I looked over at him and smiled.

“You know, Bram, I might take your mom up on that tea offer.” She scooted last is in the entryway and walked into the kitchen.

I looked over at Simon. “A backyard wedding?”

“I mean, I’m not even 17, and I’m still in high school, but I’ve been planning my wedding since I was eight.”

“That’s adorable.”

“Oh thank you, when I was eight my exact thought was ‘my future boyfriend will think this is adorable.’”

“That’s how I made all of my decisions when I was eight.”

Simon grabbed my hands. “Want to watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?”

“Of course,” I said. “Come on.” I walked over to the couch. We sat down and I put my head in his lap.


	20. Across the Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some emails from across the dinner table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once I realized that chapter 15 wasn’t an email chapter it was too late but whatever
> 
> Also I started school! It’s kinda weird with everything they have to do to be safe, and I don’t get to see my boyfriend, but at least I’m in school

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 10.15.18  
Subject: I’m Sorry

Si, I’m really sorry about this. I want to tell my dad, I’m just worried about telling him if you’re there and how he’s going to react to you. If he gets upset I don’t want you to be there. I don’t want him to take it out on you.

Does that make sense? I hope you’re not mad, but I’d totally understand if you are.

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 10.15.18  
Subject: Re: I’m Sorry

You have nothing to be sorry about, I completely understand. You’re just not ready. It’s okay.

By the way, and this is unrelated, but your Uncle Andy’s enchiladas are fantastic. I might need to move in with him. Do you think LuLu needs an older brother?

Love, Sock

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 10.15.18  
Subject: Re: I’m Sorry

You know he taught me how to make enchiladas when I was here for the wedding, right? I’ll make them for you when we get back. Do you want chicken or beef? And how spicy?

But in all seriousness, if you moved to Savannah I would die. I would miss you more than words could say. I would have to drive down every weekend and FaceTime you every single night. Or I would move with you. What’s better than one big brother? Living with your 16-year-old cousin and his boyfriend! Aunt Kelly and Uncle Andy would love that!

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 10.15.18  
Subject: Moving

I’ll definitely have some spicy chicken enchiladas when we get back, but it doesn’t affect my decision to move in with your family. Your Uncle Andy’s cheesecake is superb. And LuLu is an absolute queen. One day she’s going to run the world, Bram.

Who catered your Uncle and Aunt’s wedding? Was it your Uncle Andy? That would’ve been amazing. Wait, did he cater for your dad’s wedding? I would have gone with if I had known what amazing food there was.

Love, Sock

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 10.15.18  
Subject: Re: Moving

My dad hired some stuffy catering company, and it was mostly crab cakes. It wasn’t great. As for my Uncle Andy and Aunt Kelly, it was a really small wedding, so we actually did a potluck. I was ten, so I didn’t help out that much, but my parents made lasagna and six dozen cookies. For twenty people. I ate seven cookies, which is just too much for a ten-year-old boy.

You should let me teach you how to make the enchiladas. I think I’m going to live on Mexican food and eggs the entire time I’m in college. Maybe I can get my Uncle Andy to show us how to make cheesecake tonight. If he isn’t working I’m sure he’d love to.

Where do you want to go to college? I’ve basically had Columbia picked out since I was in kindergarten, but it’s kinda hard to get into, so now I have to look at other things to apply to. Do you think I can include the enchilada recipe on my application for brownie points?

Love, Blam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda short, but there’ll be an explanation at the very beginning of the next chapter


	21. Love is a Game We Deserve to Play Out Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram makes a decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Keiynan Lonsdale’s Kiss the Boy because who would I be without that song?

I reread the emails from this weekend. I wished they hadn't stopped so abruptly, but my dad got on me about playing on my phone at the table. Oddly enough, he didn't notice that Simon was just as obviously on his phone.

I sat down on the beanbag chair, but something felt different. I looked around, but nothing was different. I just felt different.

I grabbed my book from my bag and crossed my legs. Garrett sat down next to me. “Greenfeld, I’ve got to tell you something.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” I said. I shut my book and set it in my lap. Something tells me that I won’t have a chance to read my book this morning.

“You know Leah?”

“Of course I do, I see her every single day.”

“I think I like her.”

“That’s nice.” What was I supposed to say? Good for you? I like her too? I’m not really great at small talk.

“It is,” he said. “She’s one of my favorite people to talk to, and whenever something funny happens she’s the first person I want to tell.”

“Not me?” I asked, feigning shock.

“You’re probably the second person to go through my head. I don’t know, it feels like I’m always thinking of her, even when I’m not actively thinking of her.”

“Like a heartbeat. Soft and persistent, underlying everything.”

“That’s mushy, Louis.”

“I got it from Si,” I said. “He told me that at the homecoming dance. It kinda stuck with me, because it’s accurate. I never stop thinking about him, he’s always in my mind, no matter what I’m doing.”

“Bram, you’re so in love with this boy.”

“This is about you, Garrett.”

“Not anymore,” he said. “I have a measly crush, you’re head over heels in love with your boyfriend.”

“I wouldn’t say head over heels.”

“Last week I asked you if you wanted pineapple and you told me about the time Simon thought about going to Hawaii. In what world is that relevant?”

“You’d see the connection, too, if Simon had told about going to Hawaii.”

“No, Bram. You’re in love.” I rolled my eyes, but when I looked away I couldn’t stop smiling. He’s right, of course. He always is. Garrett knows me better than I know myself. And I knew what felt off.

Simon walked into the library and sat down next to me on the beanbag chair. I grabbed his face and kissed him.

“Good morning,” he said with a smile. “What was that for?”

“I’m ready to be 100% out,” I said.

“So I can print out the lock screen?”

“That’s a little far, but if you feel like it.”

“That’d be ridiculous.”

“I know.” Garrett poked me in the face. “One more thing, I love you.” I looked down at his lips that turned into a wide smile.

“I love you, too.”

We held hands while we walked to English. I never understood the appeal of holding hands, it’s just a way to mix your hand juices and take up a hand that you could use to do other things. But, as I walked to English with Simon, I understood.

I love the way that humans are just made to hold hands. When I slide my hand in his, it fits perfectly. I feel the warmth of his hand as a physical reminder that he is there, and that he’s there with me.

It was still pretty early, so the hallways were mostly empty. A few teachers passed us in the hallway. Why is it so awkward to pass only a teacher in the hallway? I don’t know you, but you have authority over me so I have to respect you with some sort of nod. I don’t think most people over-analyze hallway interactions.

“Hey, I’m making enchiladas tonight,” I said.

“I’m there,” Simon said. “No further details necessary. I’ll move in.”

“Granted, I don’t have twenty-five years of experience cooking them, so they won’t be quite Uncle Andy levels.”

“If they are half as good as your Uncle Andy’s I would still have the second-best meal ever. And it’s made by you.”

“You’re adorable,” I said. He nodded.

“I am, aren’t I?” We walked into the classroom and sat down on the couch.

I pulled my copy of Julius Caesar out of my bag. Mr. Wise was running with the competition theme, even though that wasn’t really the central message of Dorothy Must Die. It was definitely about the blurred line between good and evil, with competition as a subtheme. 

Nick walked into the classroom and sat down next to Simon. “Hey, what did you get on the Chemistry test?’ he asked.

“A 92, I think,” Simon said.

“Greenfeld?”

“I got a 98. It was that question about potassium chlorate, I think.”

“How did you guys do well? You never pay attention in class, you spend the entire time making googly eyes at each other.”

“We also make googly eyes at each other at WaHo while we study,” Simon said. “Maybe you should pick up a textbook sometime.”

“I’ve never had to,” Nick said. “Where would I even start?”

“Chapter four,” I said. He glared at me. “What did you get?”

“A 79. I have a B now.”

“That’s not too bad,” Simon said. “I’m getting a B in World History.”

“I don’t want to dip below a 3.9,” Nick said. “I got that B in Algebra last year.”

“I did, too,” Simon said. “But that was an improvement from my eighth-grade Algebra grade of C.”

“We can’t all have a genius boyfriend who improves our grades.”

“Nick, you realize that your girlfriend is super smart, right?”

“Well, she studies with you guys.”

“You should join us,” Simon said. “We’re going to WaHo tonight to do some Chem homework. I’m driving Abbs, but I’m sure that Bram can give you a ride.”

“Yeah, and then we’re going to my house for enchiladas.” I looked over at Simon whose smile got even wider.

“Enchiladas after waffles?”

“We get muffins sometimes,” Simon said. “It’s an appetizer. You have to try these enchiladas, though. Bram’s Uncle Andy made them for us this weekend.”

“The Uncle Andy who just had a baby?” Nick asked.

“She was a little early,” I said. “She’s six months old now. We went to see her this weekend and Simon met my dad.”

Nick looked over at Simon with a look of fear. “How did that go?”

“It went fine,” Simon said. “He didn’t do anything particularly bad.”

“Because I didn’t tell him.” I started picking at the edges of my book. I told Simon that I’m ready to be 100% out, but how much truth is in that? Simon grabbed my hand.

“And that is perfectly fine because you don’t need to tell him until you’re ready.”

“I was ready,” I said. “I just didn’t want him to say anything to you. I expected him to show up right before dinner and social niceties would mean he can’t be rude to you.”

“But you wouldn’t want that. I’ve met you. You would spend the next couple of months until Hotel Hanukkah wondering if he was actually being decent or if he had to.” I looked down at Simon’s hand on mine. He wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t either. My dad needs to know, but I try so hard to minimize the damage that I’ll end up damaging myself.

I looked up as Taylor Metternich walked into the classroom. She said a quick hello before sitting down in the very front of the classroom.

“I need to tell him,” I said. “At Hotel Hanukkah. I have to.”


	22. Birthday Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon’s 17th birthday, because he’s an old man

I went down to the band room instead of the library. Leah told us to go there so that she could explain the surprise.

I was the second one there, after only Leah. “Thank God, I thought no one would show up.”

“You told us to show up at 7:45 and it’s 7:40.”

“It’s not my fault you guys aren’t prompt.” Leah handed me a box. “Si is gonna be here at 8:10. His alarm just went off.”

“Nora switched it?”

“Yeah. She also moved his keys to the bathroom cabinet, asked your mom to take extra long on pictures, and made a huge pancake breakfast.”

“You’ve really thought this through.”

“It’s his golden birthday. I’ve been planning for months.”

“I better get this level of insanity next year.”

“It’ll also be your eighteenth birthday, we’re going all out. I’ve got ideas.”

“I’m excited.”

“Okay, back on track.” Leah grabbed a clipboard off of the seat for the drumset. “When Simon walks in you’re going to bring him to English. Keep the box in your backpack. It’s a golden bow tie.

“In English, Nick is going to make sure that everyone stays out of the classroom.” She pointed over at the door. Nick was standing there, looking confused. “Go to your post, soldier. I’ve okayed it with Wise, he said to send everyone to the computer lab.” Nick nodded and walked out the door. “Then, you’ll get him to sit on the couch. Give him your present, be all romantic, the works. Abby Will pop out from the supply closet singing Happy Birthday, and Nick, Garrett, and I will join from the hallway.”

“All of this prep work for one Happy Birthday?”

“We’ve got a dance choreographed. And flowers.”

“That sounds like fun.”

“It will not be. But it will be fun for Si, who lives for that kind of thing. And tonight we’re taking him to the Botanical Gardens. The clue being the bouquets.”

“I love the Botanical Gardens.”

“I know.”

Garrett walked into the band room. “Choreo, go.” Leah pointed at him. Garrett started doing a slow dance while singing Happy Birthday. There was a lot of spinning and hip involved. It was kind of ridiculous, but Leah definitely knew what she was doing. Simon will love this.

At 8:08 exactly, I was sent to the library to wait for Simon. Leah got the text from Nora. as I was going up the stairs, so I quickened my pace. I took the stairs two at a time before running into the library and throwing myself onto the beanbag chair.

Simon walked in a little bit after I did. He didn’t even sit next to me. “I’m sorry I’m late, but we’re gonna lose the couch.”

“Maybe,” I said. “Let’s go down there.”

“Okay, but if Taylor Metternich is on the couch I’m kicking her off.”

“She would never. She has to be front and center, even in a classroom.” I grabbed Simon’s hand and pulled him into the empty classroom.

We sat down on the couch together. “Where’s Wise?” he asked.

“He’ll be here,” I said. “I have something for you.” I pulled a rainbow tote bag out of my bag. I handed it to Simon.

He pulled out the present and smiled. It was an Oreo dress, lined with orange tulle.

“I looked everywhere, but they just don’t make Halloween Oreo dresses. I figured sewing on some orange tulle would be the next best thing.”

“You know how to sew?”

“No. I watched like seven hours of YouTube tutorials to sew a ring of fabric.” Simon set down the dress and leaned over the bag to kiss me. His eyes were closed, but I left my left eye half open to look for the closet door opening. I saw a shift in the small crack, so I pulled away.

The door burst open and Abby gracefully leaped out. The hallway crew walked in, rotating their hips.

They started singing (very off-key, but what would you expect?) and dancing towards Simon. He was laughing so hard his face was turning red. Each of them handed him a bouquet of yellow roses. I vaguely remember something from eighth grade about yellow roses meaning friendship.

“Happy golden birthday, Si,” Leah said. “We’re kidnapping you tonight, your mom has already okayed it.”

”That’s not kidnapping, Lee.”

“You don’t get a say in the matter, though. If you resist, you’re still coming with us.”

Nick stuck his head out into the hall. “Not to ruin the mood, but everyone is on their way back from the computer lab.”

“Right on time,” Leah said. “We’ll talk more at lunch, but I’m gonna sit by Taylor today. Sitting next to you all has gotten me a B minus, so I’m going to do everything in my power to not have a conversation during class. I better get an A on this essay.”

“Good luck, Burke,” Garrett said. “Stay strong.” Leah smiled and walked to the front of the classroom.

Garrett and Leah have been pretty flirty lately, but he refuses to give me any details. Whenever I ask he just smiles and looks away, mumbling about how it’s nothing.

I looked over at Simon. He nodded. “Did she tell you anything?” I asked.

“Nope. She told me that she wasn’t acting any differently.”

“That’s a lie, but okay.” Mr. Wise walked into the classroom, the whole class following behind him. A few kids looked annoyed, but Mr. Wise was smiling.

He walked over to his desk with a stack of papers. “Happy birthday, Mr. Spier. I hope that it goes well for you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Wise.” Simon looked over at me with a look of confusion. I smiled back. Mr. Wise started walking around, handing out everyone’s essays. As per usual, he set down the stack instead of handing us our individual papers. Abby’s big 99 was on top of the pile, but she wasn’t embarrassed about it anymore. She grabbed her paper.

I reached for my paper and saw a big 97. I didn’t try very hard on this one, but English is subjective. I put the paper in my binder and shut it.

I got Simon in my car after school. Emily walked to the school and grabbed Simon’s car so that we didn’t have to worry about it.

“Now that Leah is gone, will you tell me where we’re going?” Simon asked. I shook my head.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew.” I handed Simon my unlocked iPod. I started driving.

Simon set down my iPod and I heard No Air start. I looked back over to Simon. “Our first dance,” I said.

“I still can’t believe you wouldn’t dance with me at homecoming,” Simon said. “What was so important about Garrett having food poisoning?”

“I love you, Si.”

“I love you, too, Bee.”


	23. Hotel Hanukkah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A (mostly) Simonless chapter in a hotel for Hanukkah.

Simon and I were sitting on my couch, drinking hot chocolate. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said.

“I know,” I said. “After I graduate we’re not doing Hotel Hanukkah anymore. We’re doing family get-togethers.”

“What about tradition?”

“Four years doesn’t really make a tradition. For the first fourteen years of my life, we went to the park and actually celebrated all eight days.”

“You went to the park in the middle of winter?” He set his hot chocolate on the coffee table.

“It was forty degrees at the lowest, Si.”

“Too cold.” He moved in closer to lay next to me. “I don’t want to graduate.”

“We’re a year and a half away,” I said. “Why are you worried about this already?”

“I just don’t want to get invested in high school just to have it taken from me because I grew up.” I realized what he was talking about. I grabbed his shoulders to turn him toward me.

“High school isn’t going anywhere,” I said. “Even after we graduate, high school will always be there to support you.”

“I get what you’re saying, but high school itself won’t be there after high school, that’s kind of the meaning of the word graduate.”

“You’re the one who started it. You don’t even like school.”

“Yeah.” I looked up at the oven clock. I wrapped my arms around Simon.

“I have to leave now, but I’ll call you when I get to Vidalia.” I stood up and grabbed our mugs to bring to the kitchen.

I pulled into the Onion Inn and saw my dad’s light blue minivan. He wasn’t inside, so I walked in.

He was sitting on a chair in the main room. “Did you already check-in?” I asked. He nodded and we walked silently to our room.

This was unusual because he always tells me about his work, or asks me about my grades. He walked two steps in front of me with his mouth shut. When we finally got to the door, he handed me my own key card.

I stepped inside and set my bag down on the bed on the left. “Dad, can we talk about something?” I asked. He sat down on the other bed.

“Of course.”

“I’m gay. Simon, the friend you met at Aunt Kelly’s, is my boyfriend.”

“Oh.” I looked up at his face, trying to read his emotions. “Well, I might as well give you your first present.”

“What?” He handed me a book wrapped in light blue wrapping paper. I opened it. It was a book by Casanova, or “freaking Casanova” as Simon would say.

“Did you know that Casanova was bisexual?”

“He was?”

“Yeah. He had sexual relations with men.”

“Oh.” I set the book down on the end table. 

“I need to tell you something, too, Bram.”

“Okay.” If my dad came out to me I would be shocked. Mostly because I just saw Becky a few weeks ago. But also because I just wouldn’t strike my dad as gay. But, he could be like Casanova, I guess. Freaking Casanova.

“Becky is pregnant.” That is quite the opposite of coming out. I guess he’s coming out as straight?

“That’s nice,” I said. Half a million thoughts ran through my head, but I couldn’t put words to them. The two of us just sat on our beds staring at each other for what felt like hours but was probably only a minute.

My dad stood up. “I’m gonna order some Chinese food, do you want anything?”

“I had hot chocolate and pancakes before I came.”

“I’ll order you some wontons.” I looked up at my dad and smiled. We don’t talk very often, but he still knows me. I’m still the five-year-old boy that ate his wontons after throwing a fit about being full. Three years of minimal communication is nothing compared to fourteen years of father-son bonding.

“I’m gonna step outside for a second,” I said. I stood up and walked to the door of our room. I stood against the fence. I pressed the phone icon under Simon’s name and he picked up almost immediately.

“Hey, Bee,” he said.

“I got to Vidalia a few minutes ago,” I said.

“How is it?”

“Awkward. I came out to my dad, he gave me a Casanova book, and he told me that Becky is pregnant.”

“Freaking Casanova?”

“Freaking Casanova. And he told me that he was bisexual, so I guess he accepts me. In his own awkward dad way.”

“Speaking of dad, he’s having a kid?”

“Yeah. I’ll have a half-sibling.”

“Are you excited?”

“I think so. I don’t want things to change, and I’ve been an only child for so long, but I’ll have a sibling. That’s exciting.”

“It is exciting. I’m excited for you. And I’m excited for you to get home, even though you’ve been gone for less than three hours.”

“I’ll be back by fourth period on Monday,” I said. I turned around when I heard the door open. My dad was standing there with a menu in his hand. “I’ll call you tonight,” I said.

“Love you.” I heard the phone hang up and put it back in my pocket.

“Was that Simon?” I nodded. “He is very lucky to be dating the best guy in the whole world.” I smiled with embarrassment.

“So what item on the menu did you want to ask me about?”

“Oh. They have a chocolate lava cake, and I know that you’re full, but you love dessert.”

“Do they have anything cookies and cream?”

“Yeah, a cake.”

“Can we get that?”

“When did you start liking cookies and cream.”

“About two months ago.” He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Cookies and cream it is, bud.”


	24. Christmas Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas time and a visit from LuLu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I forgot to update for a week so we’re doing an update spam hahahahaha part two of however many until I burn out

My alarm went off at 4:30 in the morning and my first thought was “Why did I agree to make Christmas Eve dinner?”

I walked down the stairs, trying not to wake my mom. It felt reminiscent of walking downstairs in the middle of the night, trying to see Santa. My mom always sent me back to bed telling me that Santa wouldn’t come if he suspected he’d get caught. My argument was the same every time, “What about The Night Before Christmas?” Somehow, I always ended up back in bed, fast asleep.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed various bowls from the cabinet. The first item on the list was a strawberry shortcake.

The strawberry shortcake tradition started when I was in second grade. We went over to my grandma’s house on Christmas Eve and she had made seven strawberry shortcakes. One for each of her kids and grandkids, which was just me and my twin cousins. My uncle was not invited.

The next year, we all brought seven strawberry shortcakes for a total of 56 strawberry shortcakes in one kitchen. Every subsequent Christmas Eve has had at least one strawberry shortcake, but people always bring more.

I started pulling ingredients out of the fridge when I heard a shifting behind me. I turned around, fully expecting a burglar. It was Simon, wearing a bright pink apron. I nearly dropped the eggs running over to hug him.

“How did you get in?”

“Your mom let me in last night after you went to bed. I slept on the couch.”

“You slept here on Christmas Eve Eve?”

“Yes,” he said with a laugh. “We hardly even celebrate Christmas Eve at my house. Alice was kind of upset, though, but I promised her a game of Monopoly tonight after dinner.”

“I can’t believe your parents let you come over for dinner,” I said.

“As I said, we don’t celebrate Christmas Eve.” He grabbed a whisk off of the counter. “So, your mom told me we’re making strawberry shortcake?”

“You know,” Simon said at around eight in the morning while we made a batch of peppermint cupcakes. “I don’t think I’ve ever had strawberry shortcake.”

“Strawberry shortcakes were the only thing I ate at the beginning of 2010. We had ten in our house, lasted the entire month of January.”

“In my house, they’d be gone in two days. We don’t even eat that much, but when we have dessert it is our goal to eat more than the other siblings.”

“I guess I’m gonna know what that’s like sometime soon.”

“Yeah, you’ll be an older brother. I wonder what that’s like.”

“You’re an older brother.”

“Yes, but more importantly, I’m a middle child. I have Alice controlling me.”

“She’s in college.”

“Yeah, but she lived down the hall for 16 years.”

I grabbed the bowl of cupcake batter and started scooping them into the festive cupcake liners. The Powell family loves their Christmas spirit.

Most people have that one house in their neighborhood or one neighborhood in their town that is decked out in Christmas lights. That would be my grandma’s house. When my mom was little, she and Tiana were obsessed with Christmas. They saved up their allowances all year to get each other gifts, and my grandma loved it. She was a single mom in the seventies and couldn’t buy them the best gifts, but their Christmas spirit was ten times the size of anyone she knew. So, when she got a better job when her younger kids were little, she started going all out on Christmas to give Zoey, Kelly, and Marcus the Christmas that Delaney and Tiana never had.

So, Christmas is important to the Powell’s. It’s the one time a year we can be sure that we see my Aunt Tiana, who can’t get out to Georgia all the time. I think this is the first time she’s meeting LuLu.

I popped the cupcakes in the oven and heard the doorbell ring. I handed Simon the ice cream scoop and went to get the door.

I opened the door to see my cousins, Melody and Cadence, standing there, each with their own strawberry shortcakes. My Aunt Tiana was getting out of the car, notably strawberry shortcake-less.

“Hey, come in, Merry Christmas!” I took Melody’s strawberry shortcake, but I can’t hold two cakes at once. I brought it to the kitchen table, where a group of baked goods was forming. Cadence followed me with her own strawberry shortcake.

Simon set down the ice cream scoop and walked over. “Hi, I’m Simon.”

“I’m Cadence, my sister, Melody, is setting down her bag in the living room. How do you know Bram?” Simon looked over at me. I nodded.

“I’m his boyfriend.” Cadence smiled. Melody and Aunt Tiana walked into the room. “Hey, I was just introducing myself to Simon.”

“Hi, Aunt Tiana,” I said. I gave her a hug. I haven’t seen her since last Christmas when we all went to California. “This is my boyfriend, Simon.”

“It’s a pleasure,” she said, extending her hand.

“I think my mom is still sleeping, but we’ve got Netflix.” I pointed to the living room as if they hadn’t just come from there.

“Can I help with the baking?” Melody asked. I nodded.

“I’m gonna watch Chilling Adventures of Sabrina,” Cadence said. “Peace out.” Her and Aunt Tiana walked into the living room.

“So, I’m seeing cupcake batter, what else are we baking?”

“I think we’re starting another batch of cupcakes, red velvet this time, and Simon’s been working on a huge batch of pie crust. I think we can get at least eight pies out of it.”

“That’s good,” Melody said. “I think Aunt Zoey is bringing her girlfriend’s kids.”

“Her girlfriend has kids?”

“Two. I think they’re about our age, but one might be a little younger.”

“We might need more enchiladas.”

“You’re making enough,” Simon said. “His plan is to make nine pans of enchiladas.”

“He might want to go for a tenth,” Melody said. “If he’s using Uncle Andy’s recipe, we go crazy for it.”

“I am,” I said. “And Uncle Andy is bringing a few pans.” As I said, the doorbell rang. I walked over to open it.

I was greeted with LuLu laughing at Aunt Kelly making a goofy face. When the door opened, she yelled. “Cake!” She kept repeating the word “cake.”

“She loves cake,” I said, grabbing LuLu.”

“She can probably smell it from here.”

“She’s talking now,” I said. “That’s new.”

“Yeah. She knows about five words in English and five in Spanish. Her first word was ‘beso’ which is the sweetest thing.” I thought about it for a second. I’m not bilingual, but you pick up a thing or two.

“Kiss?”

“Yep.” I set LuLu down on the carpet where she started crawling towards Aunt Tiana.

“I’m gonna go check back into the kitchen,” I said. “Feel free to watch TV with Cadence, or make yourself at home. My mom should be waking up soon.” I walked into the kitchen where Simon and Melody were having a conversation about me.

“I haven't really hung out with him,” Melody said, “but he’s the cool cousin. That might just be because he’s my age unlike Aunt Zoey’s daughter, but it’s true.”

“I’d like to believe that he would be the cool cousin if there were seventy of you,” Simon said. I smiled and walked over to join the frosting process.

“I think Marcus has seven kids,” I said.

“Probably with seven different people,” Melody scoffed. “I doubt anyone would sleep with him twice. How do you tell your mother that she’s a whore?”

“He’s a garbage human,” I said. “There’s a reason he’s not here for strawberry shortcake.”

“If he knew your address he’d show up for the free food.” Melody dumped a cup of powdered sugar into the mixing bowl. “What all is being made meal-wise tonight?”

“Enchiladas, a chicken salad, biscuits and gravy, and Aunt Zoey is bringing a casserole.”

“So, enchiladas, a chicken salad, and biscuits and gravy.”

“I’ll eat the casserole,” Simon said. “If I don’t eat everything offered my mom will kill me.”

“I’ll explain to her that her casseroles are riddled with fake nails and expired cheese,” I said. “I think she’ll understand.” Melody laughed and walked over to the fridge.

“Can I make a chili? I’ve been really into chili lately.”

“Go ahead. The more food the better. You know the Powell’s.”

“The only thing we love more than Christmas is free food,” Melody said with a huge smile. I smiled back. I really missed my family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a creative genius. Bram’s ability to see his cousins is an analogy for the fact that I am unable to see my cousins and I miss them SO much. Any English teacher would be able to see that.


	25. A Christmas Love Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little jump ahead in the current timeline to Christmas emails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Three still no burn out next morning let’s go

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 12.25.18  
Subject: My Family is Crazy

I have no clue how you put up with me. I love my family so much, but if I am anything like them-well, I’d like to not think about that possibility. My mom and I are the same ones, right?

Despite the hectic meal, yesterday was a lot of fun. And hanging out with Melody and Cadence this morning has been fun, too. I think they really liked you. They’re staying the rest of the break if you want to hang out with them more. Or we could go to WaHo, just the two of us if you hated them.

How is your Christmas going so far? Is it weird having Alice home? You probably won’t answer this email, seeing as you’re having family time. Your family gets together on Christmas, I understand. My family is just different.

I miss you, even though I saw you 14 hours ago.

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 12.25.18  
Subject: I Love Your Family

Bee, you’re crazy if you think your family is anything but kind. They might be a little loud, but I can definitely tell that they are your family. They’re kind, funny, and amazing at cooking (that one’s for your Uncle Andy).

Of course, I didn’t hate Melody and Cadence. Melody is absolutely hilarious and Cadence has the best music taste. Who would have thought there was another teenager obsessed with Elliott Smith?

Last night was a blast. Christmas Eve with fifteen people is way more fun than Christmas morning with five. We kinda just ripped through presents and took pictures where we all look dead because it’s seven in the morning. Even Alice took a nap.

Of course, I’m not napping. I told my mom I was tired, but really, I just went to read your email. I’m not even tired, surprisingly. Did waking up at 4:30 permanently change me? Did you single-handedly change my sleep schedule?

Anyway, if it isn’t intruding on family time, I’d love to hang out with you on New Year’s Eve. And before that, obviously, but I want you to be the first person I see going into 2019. I want to start the year off right. And, of course, there’s a tradition of kissing someone at midnight.

Love, Sock

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 12.25.18  
Subject: I Love YOUR Family

Si, your family is the fantastic one. Who cares if you don’t have a huge party every year, you guys know each other. This morning I got a present from Aunt Tiana, right? It was a hoodie. Because I wore a lot of hoodies last year when I went to her house. Because it was December.

So yeah, we’re a big family, but we don’t know each other. My present for Melody was a John Green book. She’s not as into movies as I am, but she likes romance. That’s what I had to go off of. I’d like to think I’m usually a good gift-giver, right? Right?

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 12.25.18  
Subject: I Love YOU

You’re an amazing gift-giver. But we’ve gotten off track. What is our Hallmark movie romance if we aren’t writing love letters on Christmas? We’re writing about how much we love each other’s family? Nah. That’s not how we’re playing Christmas.

Bram, I love you. I love everything about you. You are so smart, and you make me a better person every single day. The headphones I got for Christmas are nothing compared to the greatest present of all. In the words of the great Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas is you.

You’re my world, Bee. Every single day I wake up and wish to be half the person you see in me. Or even a quarter of the person you are. I told you a few months ago that I kissed my best friend, and that holds up. You are my boyfriend, my best friend, and my favorite person.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love, Sock

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 12.25.18  
Subject: Re: I Love YOU

It is truly a Hallmark Christmas movie. Although, I don’t know enough about Becky’s cousin to classify him as a city businessman. Let's pretend. He’s a city boy with a city job who doesn’t believe in the spirit of Christmas.

But, in all honesty, I love our Hallmark love story. Who would have thought that my anonymous email boyfriend was my non-anonymous IRL best friend? If it was a Hallmark movie, one of us would have found out by mistake and planned a day for us to meet up and we’d kiss under the stars. But, I love the way it really went.

You know, I started thinking it was you around the third email. You said something about deli meats, and it was just so profound about something so small. It reminded me of the cute boy in my grade that I was starting to befriend.

I love that cute boy. I love my cute boyfriend who gets so worked up over every little thing. I love the story behind us. I love you, Si. I love the way you smile like you don’t realize you’re doing it. I love your perpetual bed head. I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to. I love your moon-gray eyes.

I’m so attracted to you, Simon, it’s crazy.

Love, Blam


	26. Christmas Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another installment from Christmas Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part four lets gooooo

I set LuLu on my lap on the couch and sat next to Aunt Zoey’s girlfriend, Gracie, and her kids, Jamie and Rylie. Aunt Zoey’s son, Tyler, was sitting in the armchair. I had a plate of enchiladas in front of me and another one for Simon who was grabbing some chili.

I started bouncing LuLu who was giggling. “You know, Bram, Zoey has told me so much about you,” Gracie said.

“She has?”

“Yes, of course. She spent the whole day at your Aunt Kelly’s and came home singing your praises.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. She said that she was very impressed with the young man you’ve become.”

“I guess I haven’t really spoken to her since Christmas 2016.”

“Yeah. She told me that she thought you had really embraced who you are.”

“I guess I have, although, I wasn’t very open about my relationship on that road trip.”

“Embracing who you are isn’t coming out before you’re ready,” Gracie said. “It’s being comfortable enough to admit it to yourself. And being comfortable enough to be yourself, no matter what your sexuality is.”

Simon came over and sat next to me with his bowl of chili. The doorbell rang, so I handed LuLu over to him. I stood up to answer the door.

“Bram!” My grandma threw the arm without the strawberry shortcake around my shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much! Now, where is this boyfriend of yours? I’ve been hearing about him all day.”

“He’s in the living room, Grandma, with LuLu.” I grabbed her cake and brought it to the kitchen table. I stood next to the couch, watching the interaction between my grandma and Simon. I had no clue how this was going to go down. I don’t know if she knows about Gracie, who has never been to a family function before.

Simon was bouncing LuLu on his lap and making goofy faces. My grandma walked over to the couch. I don’t know where Gracie and the kids went, but it was just the four of us in the living room. “You’re Simon, I presume?” Simon stopped bouncing LuLu and held her steadily in his arms.

“Yeah. You’re Bram’s grandma, right?” She nodded and bent forward to wrap Simon in a hug. It wasn’t too tight as to not squeeze LuLu in between them, but it said a thousand words.

“Simon Spier. I’ve heard that you’ve been important to Bram for years, protecting my grandbaby from the new environment of Atlanta.”

“I met him freshman year, so I’d like to say yes.”

“Welcome to the family, Simon.” She grabbed LuLu and set her on the ground to give Simon a real hug. LuLu crawled toward me, so I picked her up and sat next to Simon on the couch. Aunt Kelly walked into the room from my mom’s bedroom where the sisters had been hanging out.

“Hey, Mama,” she said. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Aunt Kelly,” I said. “Can LuLu have strawberry shortcake?”

“Of course, Bram. It wouldn’t be Christmas without it. But, only a little. She’s not even nine months old.” I brought LuLu to the kitchen to leave Simon alone with my grandma. I fixed myself a plate of strawberry shortcake and set her in her high chair. The cup holder had a purple spork, which I used to get a small bite of cake for her.

“Here comes some yums,” I said, directing the spork toward her face. She opened her mouth and clamped down around the edges of the spork. After chewing, a big smile formed on her face.

“Cake!”

“Cake indeed, LuLu, cake indeed.” I walked over to the counter where Uncle Andy put her bowl of peas. “Time for some actual food, but next year I’ll make you your own strawberry shortcake.”

Simon walked into the kitchen holding his empty bowl. “I’m gonna head home, Bee,” he said. “Alice has been texting me all day.”

I set the peas on LuLu’s chair. “Did my grandma say anything?”

“No no no, she’s amazing. I just need to see my sister. Family, you know?”

“I do.” I grabbed his waist and pulled him in for a kiss. “Merry Christmas, Jacques.”

“Merry Christmas, Blue. I love you lots.”

“I love you lots.”


	27. New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A New Years Sleepover at Bram’s house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I lost it. Whoops. But I haven't fully lost it, so we're back to updating roughly every other day.

I set the pile of blankets on the couch. Melody was whistling in the kitchen, setting out the remaining desserts from Christmas Eve.

“Simon’s coming tonight, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, and six of our school friends.”

“Any girls?”

“Three of them.”

“So it’ll be five guys and seven gals?” Melody asked.

“Seven?”

“Our moms.”

“They don’t count.” I walked into the kitchen to check the oven clock. “Simon and Abby are gonna be here soon.”

“Abby’s the one that got y’all together?” Cadence asked. I nodded.

“Kind of. I showed her an email, but it was all me.”

“I still think you should tell us the story.” Melody sat down on the couch and crossed her legs. “You can’t just tell someone it’s a Hallmark movie without explaining.”

“If I told you without Abbs here she might kill me.”

“Well, she’ll be here soon.”

“Yeah, and I’m glad. I think Taylor would gush about it all night, and I’m just not ready for that. You haven’t met Taylor, but she’s a character.”

“So why is she invited?”

“To prove a point. Simon’s theater group is Taylor, Abby, Cal, and Martin, but Martin is a dick, so we invited the group without Martin. And Taylor is really sweet.”

“So they’re all in your grade?” Cadence asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering.” She looked over at Melody with a smile.

“I think Cadence wants to hook up with your friends,” Melody said.

“Obviously. Here’s my dilemma; if I hook up with someone in my grade, they’re too old because I’m younger than everyone. If I hook up with a junior I’ve hooked up with a junior. But if I hook up with a random sixteen-year-old from Atlanta? It’s different.”

“I don’t know how much luck you’ll have. Nick is dating Abby, Cal has a crush on Simon, and Garrett is Garrett.”

“He could be bi.”

“He is, but he's also obsessed with Simon. He claims it’s not true, but we’ve all seen the googly eyes.” I folded another blanket. “And also I don’t think you want to hook up with anyone in this two-bedroom house with our moms right above us."

"I could get their numbers." Cadence grabbed the TV remote. "What about Taylor? Is she single? And into girls?"

"I believe the answer to both of those questions would be no, but I don't know her too well. You'll have to ask Simon."

"Fantastic. I'll ask him right now." The room darkened a little bit as someone walked in front of the door. Or two people in this case.

Cadence walked over to the door and opened it. Simon and Abby walked in, Simon throwing his arms around Cadence. Abby stepped around them and walked over to me.

I grabbed her fur coat and set it next to the pile of blankets. "Abbs, Melody and Cadence. And vice versa."

"Si, I've got a question for you," Cadence said. Melody groaned.

"Shoot."

"This Taylor gal. What's her deal?" Abby started giggling.

"Taylor Metternich? Taylor Eline Metternich?"

"I guess."

"She's definitely single," Simon said. "We've never really discussed her sexuality. She's never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, but she does give off a bi vibe."

"Like we can trust your gaydar." I smiled over at Simon. "This boy thought I had a crush on Leah the entirety of freshman year. He thought I was a straight person who couldn't get my act together."

"You're one to talk, Bram." Abby looked over at me with a devilish look in her eye. I over-exaggerated my eye roll. "He thought Simon had a crush on me. He was devastated."

"You know, Abby's here," Melody said. She smiled up at me. A sweet conversation change and I am thankful for it.

"Yes. The story." I crossed one leg over the other to set myself up to tell the story. "It started the summer before sophomore year. I was experiencing what I like to call a 'Big Sad Moment.' I anonymously posted something about being closeted and lonely and whatever. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't to get a comment on my post. I was shocked. I had to email this commenter, find out what exactly they agreed with.

"We started emailing daily. The bottom of my desks saw my phone more often than anyone else. We started getting really close, but we still didn't know who we were emailing. One day, after some flirty emails, I confessed that I was in love with my best friend. To my surprise, he told me that he was, too. We discussed our best friends together, and everything we loved.

"One day, Abby here invited a group of us over to her house to watch a movie and have a sleepover. After the movie, we played a game of Spin the Bottle. There were only six of us, so of course, I got to kiss Simon. I had a little panic attack but went to the bathroom and emailed Jacques. The next morning, I got an email about how much of a coincidence it was that we both kissed our best friends on the same day. I was starting to suspect that it was not a coincidence.

"One day, I showed Abby that email. She gave me some advice, but I wanted to be sure. So, I sent an email that I knew would be the last piece of evidence. I asked how he was feeling because I knew that Simon was home with a head cold. Sure enough, he was at home sick. So the next morning, I sent an email with my initials while standing right in front of him. His phone went off and his face lit up. And then we went to homecoming together, then the dance, where Garrett spent the entire night in the bathroom barfing. Nothing really felt like an adequate first date. Until Waffle House.

"We went to Waffle House, just the two of us. Our waitress told us that she had been watching us pine over each other since sophomore year, which neither of us even realized we were doing. Before Waffle House, we also went to a gay bar with Abby and danced to No Air by Jordin Sparks. That was unrelated but felt important. We also listened to No Air on Simon's birthday on the way to the aquarium. The end, I guess."

"That was a lovely story," Melody said. "Until the end when you became unsure of your storytelling skills." I stuck my tongue out at her. I heard a knock on the door. Five fast knocks. Garrett.

I walked over to the door. Garrett and Nick were standing there with duffel bags. "I brought an empty bottle," Garrett said. "I propose another round of Spin the Bottle."


	28. Last Day of Junior Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little time jump to the end of junior year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little trip from canon, but this is technically an AU. Also, the story is just different now. We’re gonna have to deal with that.

I sat down on the beanbag chair next to Abby. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t want to go to Columbia.”

“You’ve been wanting this longer than I’ve known you,” she said.

“No, I haven’t. My dad's wanted it longer than I’ve known any of you. I think we first started talking about it in second grade.”

“Ouch. So where do you want to go?”

“NYU, UCLA, or some other school like that. Savannah State would be nice, I’d be by my family.”

“I’m only applying to in-state schools,” Abby said. “My dad offered to help pay tuition, but I don’t want to feel like a burden.” I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Abigail Nicole. You deserve the world. If he offered to pay a portion, you should take anything he throws at you. And if you need to take out student loans you'll take out student loans. But you need to follow your heart. If your heart says Georgia than your heart says Georgia, but I've seen the posters in your room. You want to travel the world, not stay in one place for the rest of your life."

"Bram, honey, I love you, but you don't really understand. Your mom makes like a hundred grand a year as an epidemiologist and only has to raise one kid. You're not Creekwood rich, but you don't know what it's like to live in my house. Of course, I want to travel the world, but I also want to eat three meals a day."

"We're road-tripping this summer," I said. "I can't take you to Paris, but I can show you the continental United States." She smiled.

"I'm gonna miss not seeing your face every day."

"That's why we need to road trip, Abbs. You'll see my face 16 hours a day."

"That might be too much Bram," she said with a giggle. I love her giddiness. Everything is always a giggle or a chuckle or the world's biggest smile.

"But, in all seriousness, I need a long road trip. Without my mom, just time with my best friends."

"I'm free all summer except for one week in August. I'll be in DC."

"I'm free except for occasional trips to Savannah, which aren't scheduled, so I can plan whatever."

"Leah was telling me last week about how her summer was entirely open, and how bored she was gonna get."

"Simon has a trip to Greece in August and a trip to Connecticut in June, but July is entirely open."

"What about Garrett?"

"His annual trip to LA is in August. We've got a month of nothing, which means we've got a month to road trip." Abby clapped her hands. Simon set down behind me on the beanbag chair.

"Did you say road trip?"

"Are you free in July?"

"You know I am." Abby looked down at the (adorable) watch on her wrist. Abby is one of those people who can wear old lady stuff and you don't even realize she's wearing anything different from the usual. Today, she's got a 50's dress on with a scarf and metal watch.

"We better get going. If we don't get the couch for the last time I will sob on spot."

"That would be a surefire way to get the couch, though," Simon said. I nodded. The three of us stood up and walked to English, hand in hand.

Garrett was waiting for us on the couch. “I got here at 6:45,” he said. “Wise and Angelo were the only teachers in the building.”

“Garrett, class doesn’t start until 8:30.”

“I needed to get this couch. And guess what? It was worth it. At 7:30 Martin Addison tried claiming the couch.”

“What did you do for the last hour?”

“I watched Umbrella Academy. I never finished it when it came out, so I figured now would be as good a time as ever. I finished five minutes ago.”

“Was it good?” Abby asked.

“You haven’t seen it?”

“I’ve been watching The Good Place with Isaac.” Garrett set his phone in Abby’s lap.

“We have 45 minutes until class starts, the runtime of episode one is 59 minutes. I can show you the last 15 minutes tonight.”

“Or, hear me out, we all watch it together while we’re road tripping in July.”

“Road trip? I’m in. I have $500 to spare.”

“Nope,” I said. “This is my gift to Abby. I’m paying for all of the gas, motels, everything.”

“That’s quite a bit, Bram,” Simon said. “A month-long five-person road trip?”

“I’m paying for over half of it,” I decided.

“If you’re paying a majority,” Abby said. “We’re only staying in motels every other night. We’ll rotate driving on the other nights.”

“I am so excited, y’all,” I said. I put my head on Simon’s shoulder. If only the road trip weren’t a month away.

Mr. Wise paced around the classroom. “Now, I can’t be the first teacher to do this, but we’re going to go around the classroom and list your top three colleges, or other plans for after graduation.” My stomach sank. “This is just a thought experiment.”

We went around the room, starting at the front. Of course, Taylor’s top three were all Ivy League. I’ve seen her grades, so I don’t doubt she’ll get in, it’s just a little pretentious.

As the conversation snaked it’s way backward, Abby grabbed my hand. I squeezed it before setting it in my lap.

“Mr. Greenfeld?”

“UCLA, NYU, and Savannah State.” Mr. Wise nodded. Simon looked over at me.

“Columbia?”

“I can’t, Si. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to be some pretentious scholar, I want a college experience. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Bee, do what feels right. Don’t stick yourself somewhere just because your dad wants you there.”

“Mr. Spier?”

“NYU, Haverford, and Georgia.”

“Mr. Laughlin?” At the end of the couch, we had gone around the entire classroom. I slid in closer to Simon.

“I love you, Simon Irvin Spier.”

“I love you, too, Abraham Louis Greenfeld.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What time zones are y’all in? And what time do you usually read? I wanna catch y’all at a good time
> 
> <3 M


	29. New Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your average trip to Savannah :)

I threw a duffel bag in the car. “I don’t remember the last time I stayed at Dad’s,” I said to my mom. “I think it was freshman year.”

“He wants to see you, Bram. It’s almost your senior year.”

“Or he just feels bad that I didn’t come out to him last year and he’s overcompensating by trying to be the extra supportive dad he’ll be for the new baby.”

“Bram, are you mad at him for having a baby?”

“I’m mad at him for turning it into an excuse to try harder with me. As if I weren’t enough on my own. He called me last week. Just to chat, but he only talked about the baby.”

“This is about the baby?”

“It’s not about the baby at all. It’s about him being a crummy dad.”

“And you’re worried he’ll fall into the same patterns with the baby.”

“You’re starting to sound like Emily.” I threw another duffel into the trunk.”

“Am I wrong?”

“Well, no.”

“Than Emily is a very intelligent lady.”

“She is.” I shut the trunk. “I’m gonna miss her while I’m in Savannah.”

“I’m sure she’ll miss you, too.”

“Only because Simon will be stuck at home. Once they’re in Connecticut life will be grand.”

“I don’t know,” my mom said. “I’ll miss Simon when he’s in Connecticut. He makes you so freaking happy, and that makes me happy.” I smiled. “And you know what the best part is?” I expected her to continue, but she was waiting for my answer.

“The fact that he is a gentleman who gets along with my family?”

“The fact that he gets along with you. I’ve dated people who made me happy, but it wasn’t right. But you love this boy.”

“Are you talking about Dad?”

“He made me the happiest woman in the world. He gave you to me. But we didn’t work out. And that’s okay. Becky seems very happy, and I hope their relationship is better than mine was.”

“I’m not the biggest thing in your life,” I said. “You have a job, and friends, and your sisters, and your writing.”

“Bee, you’re my pride and joy. I could never love anyone more than I love you. And if you ever have a kid, I’m sure you’ll feel the same way.”

I knew what she was talking about. When I met LuLu for the first time, I saw the pictures all over the house. I saw the way Uncle Andy and Aunt Kelly looked at their little girl. They would kick, scratch, claw, and kill for her. It’s a different kind of love.

“I love you, Mama.”

“I love you, too, Bram.” I hugged her and walked around to the driver's seat.

“I’ll call you the second I get in,” I promised.

“Call me ten minutes after you get in,” she said. “Call Si first.” I smiled and shut the door. She walked inside the house but stayed in the front window. I pulled out of the neighborhood, one hand on my steering wheel, the other waving at my mom.

I pulled into the apartment complex. I hadn't seen it since the wedding. Before leaving my car, I called Simon. "Hey, just calling to tell you that I just pulled into the apartment complex."

"Are you nervous?" he asked. I could hear Jack playing with Bieber in the background. I smiled to myself, alone in the car.

"No, I'm not. Even if something does happen, I just have more stories to tell you when I get home."

"I love you and I miss you," Simon said.

"I love you and I miss you. I'll call you before bed."

"I'll be waiting by the phone."

"Bye, mi amor. I'm going to call my mom now."

"You called me before you called your mom?"

"She told me to. We had this whole talk about happiness and whatever."

"Bram Greenfeld, you make me happy."

"Simon Spier, you make me, in the words of my mom, 'so freaking happy.'"

"Bye, Bee. I love you so much."

"I love you so much."

I hung up the phone and called my mom. It was a fairly standard conversation, just letting her know that I wasn't dead in a ditch. I put my phone in my pocket and stepped out of the car.

My dad walked out of the building as I started walking to the trunk. I turned around. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, Bram. Can I help you with your bags?"

"Yeah, I only have the two, though."

"Perfect. There's two of us." I smiled and opened the trunk. He grabbed my rainbow bag and let me grab the blue one. I'm sure that he thinks he's being accepting by grabbing the rainbow one, but I wanted to grab the blue one anyways. It's just a completely different color now.

"Hey, do you still have a 4.0? How did last semester go?"

"It went well. I have a 4.0, my lowest grade was a 94 in Chemistry."

"Fantastic. That's what Columbia wants to see." I sighed.

"Dad, I don't want to go to Columbia." He stopped walking to turn and look at me. Maybe this could have waited a few days.

“You’ve always wanted to go to Columbia,” he said.

“No, I haven’t. You’ve always wanted me to go. I want a more realistic college experience.”

“Abraham,” he said. I winced. I hate the name Abraham. I always have. “This is realistic. It will open so many doors for you.” He had started walking again, but he was upset.

“I don’t want to go to some snobby school. I want to go to a nice school, but not Columbia. I still care about my grades and my future, I just can’t go to Columbia.”

“And why not?” We were stopped in front of the elevator now. There was a teenage girl waiting for someone a little bit away, pretending not to listen. I can’t blame her, I’d be eavesdropping, too.

“Because I’m not Taylor Metternich.”

“Who’s Taylor Metternich?”

“You don’t know her, but school and getting into an Ivy League is her thing. Everything she does is an attempt to further herself toward Harvard. But I’m not Taylor Metternich. I want to have downtime, and I’m more worried about being happy than having a fancy diploma.” The elevator opened. I looked back over at the girl. She had pulled out her phone, but it looked like it was turned off. I stepped into the elevator.

“You know what, Bram? It doesn’t matter.” I rolled my eyes. If it didn’t matter he wouldn’t have full named me.

“You’re right.”

“I have to show you something.” The elevator doors opened. Becky was standing in front of it, holding a bundle of blankets. I stepped out of the elevator and looked closer. There was a baby inside the blankets.

I stepped closer to Becky to see his face. He looked like an average newborn; wrinkly, eyes too big for his little head. He didn’t look like anyone unless you count ET. I’ve known people who tell everyone that their two day old is the living embodiment of whatever relative, but they’re all wrong. Newborns are ugly.

And yet, he looked so cute. He wasn’t, but I felt drawn to his freaky little bug eyes. I had a brother.

“This is Caleb River,” Becky said, pushing him forward. Letting me hold him.

“I’m going to assume River is his middle name,” I said. I don’t know Becky all that well, but she doesn’t strike me as a hyphenated first name kind of person.

“Yes, it is,” she said with a smile. “After my grandfather. He was a great man, and he died the day Caleb was born.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“He was 103. We all knew it was coming. He was ready to go.” She put her hand on my shoulder and guided me to their apartment. I walked in with them, holding Caleb. My new baby brother.


	30. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emails to and from Savannah (and subsequently Connecticut)

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 6.16.19  
Subject: Caleb River Greenfeld

Si, I found out why my dad wanted me to come down so badly. My little brother was born last week! He’s about a month early, so he’s kinda small, but he’s all healthy. He’s amazing. I’ve never really met a newborn before, the youngest I’ve ever hung out with was LuLu when she was six months old. Remember that? It’s been almost a year. She’s walking now, that’s crazy.

Anyways, Caleb. He’s a doll. I’m no longer an only child. That’s wild. I’ve gone seventeen years being one child for two parents, entirely outnumbered. Now I’m still outnumbered, two to three, but still. I have a brother.

My dad and Becky keep telling me that he looks like so-and-so but honestly he looks like an alien. I don’t understand when people think that newborns look cute. They’re little wrinkly sacks with messed up proportions. Pictures of LuLu when she was about a week old are the cutest newborn pictures I’ve ever seen and that’s nothing compared to what she looks like now. She’s not a wrinkly sack.

I love you more than I can put into words, and I miss you even more. I can’t wait for you to get back from Connecticut and the week we get before the road trip. I also can’t wait for the road trip. That’s gonna be fire.

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 6.17.19  
Subject: Re: Caleb River Greenfeld

That’s rad! I can’t believe you have a brother! I thought we were gonna have to pit stop in Savannah for you to meet him. This is amazing! Although I have to admit, I was looking forward to a Savannah pit stop. I wanted to meet the baby.

I have to disagree. Yes, newborns do look extraterrestrial, to phrase it gently, but I think it isn’t a bad thing. Puppies are cute, but they have drastically different proportions from a human. If my legs were that long comparatively I’d look like a teddy bear. I think newborns are gorgeous. I’d love to meet Caleb and prove you wrong.

You are right about LuLu, though. She was a cute newborn. And now her hair is growing out, she’s just so cute. How is she so cute? That’s not natural, right? Your Aunt Kelly is putting something in her water.

Of course, the road trip is going to be fire. I’ve never heard you use the term ‘fire’ so that was weird, but it fits. Our road trip is gonna be a blast. Abby better be getting the games together now.

I love you so much more than I could ever say. I love the fact that we have these little emails, I love the fact that we can be as sappy as Lara Jean Covey and it fits the vibe. You’ve made me sappy, Greenfeld. When we get back, we’re watching so many romances. I love you lots.

Love, Sock

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 6.17.19  
Subject: Re: Caleb River Greenfeld

Sorry that it took so long to reply. I went with my dad to the library. We haven’t spoken about Columbia since I got here. I think he’s pissed.

I can only assume Abby is already on top of road trip games; I’m already creating a playlist. So far I have an hour of bangers. Lemonade, Everytime we Touch, etc. By the way, ‘everytime’ isn’t a word. You’re supposed to use ‘every time’ every time. But, Cascada picked a typo. Oh well. If you look up the lyrics they’re correct.

I can’t believe you think newborns are cute. This is so unfortunate. I’m sure that he’ll be cuter when you see him, but Caleb looks like a naked mole-rat. You have to understand. Newborns are ugly.

He also sleeps. A lot. He was awake when I met him, but he’s basically been sleeping for the past 24 hours. Becky told me that he was awake while we were at the library and before I woke up, but I haven’t seen him awake. Oh well, we’ll have plenty of time to see the awake baby when I take you down here for Thanksgiving.

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 6.18.19  
Subject: THANKSGIVING???

Elaborate on Thanksgiving. Please and thank you.

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 6.18.19  
Subject: Re: THANKSGIVING???

Oh yeah did I not tell you? ;) I checked with our moms, we’re coming down to Savannah for Thanksgiving. We leave right after school the last day before break and come back the Sunday before. You’ll get to meet another six month old. Almost.

Also, have fun in Connecticut! Tell Alice I say hi! Also if you get my five bucks she owes me, that’d be great.

Love, Blam

To: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
Date: 6.19.19  
Subject: Re: THANKSGIVING???

That’s gonna be so much fun! I can’t wait! Tell your dad before I leave that I look forward to it. And tell Caleb if he wakes up.

Alice gave me the money. She will not tell me what it is for. I’ll give it to you when I get back, but only if I get an explanation.

Love, Sock

To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
From: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
Date: 6.19.19  
Subject: Money

;)

Love, Blam


	31. Road Trip Babey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A road trip with the gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Road Trip (18)  
> The Cooler Road Trip (31)

I heard a rapid knocking. I sat up and started rubbing my eyes. Someone was knocking on my bedroom door. I looked over at the clock. 5:42. Goodness, gracious.

I walked over and opened the door. Abby and Simon burst into my room. “Road trip!” Abby yelled.

“Y’all it is not even six.”

“Road trip!” Simon yelled.

“Garrett and Leah are in your car. My mom dropped us off, but she had to go to work.”

“One of y’all are taking first shift because I’m asleep.”

“I’ve got it,” Abby said. “I wake up this early anyway. Molly and I used to wake up early every weekend to make breakfast for Cassie and Olivia.”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” Simon said. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs.

I grabbed my duffels from next to the door. My mom was sitting on the couch. “Didn’t think you’d be leaving this early,” she said. She already had a cup of tea.

“I didn’t think so either,” I said. “Bye Mama. Love you.”

I walked out of the door to my car. Garrett and Leah were in the back of my car, already asleep. I know from experience that Garrett sleeps in late, and Leah has always slept in a little late, but sleepovers are like that. Especially when you’ve stayed up until three playing extreme Mario Kart.

I slid in behind Abby and Simon sat next to me. “No one is sitting by me?” Abby asked.

“I want to hold my boyfriend’s hand,” Simon said.

“Abbs, why are we leaving so early?” I asked. “We’ll all be sleeping, so it’s not really the idea I was going for with the road trip.”

“I want to see Aunt Nadine on her birthday,” she said. “It takes ten hours to get to DC, plus pit stops, we’ll be there for dinner.” She pulled out of my driveway, waking up Garrett and Leah as we went over the bump. “Plus, if we stay for dinner we have a place to stay tonight for free.”

“For free?” Leah asked in a cartoonish voice. She is always so chipper when she wakes up.

“Yep. It’s a living room, but we’ve slept in living rooms before.”

“And we don’t have Nick hogging all of the blankets,” Garrett pointed out.

“We have Simon, though,” I said. “Biggest blanket hog of them all.”

“I have cold feet.”

“Slippers, Si,” Leah said. “Slippers.” Simon whipped his head around to stick his tongue out at Leah. We were all talking over each other about whether or not it was acceptable to wear slippers to sleep (it’s not, by the way). The chatter died when the gas light came on.

Garrett kicked the back of my seat. “You didn’t fill up the tank before the road trip?”

“I assumed that I would have time in the morning. But, of course, I was woken up at 5:42 in the morning.”

“Whatever,” Abby said. “We’ll just go to Publix.” She got into the turn lane to go to Publix.

“Road trip,” Simon said. The four of us responded with our own “Road trip,” in unison.

I took over driving at 11:30. We all stepped out of the car to stretch and do cartwheels, so we decided to randomly assign seats. I got driver, Abby got passenger, Leah got the seat behind me, and Simon and Garrett were in the back.

“Are we ready for Bram’s playlist?” Simon asked. “Or are we still sleepy?”

“Abby did a back handspring, so I’m gonna guess that we’re not tired,” Leah said. Simon pointed finger guns at me. I buckled my seatbelt and pulled out my phone to turn on the playlist.

Rollercoaster by Bleachers started playing through my speakers. I turned around to look back at Simon. This song got us through geometry. He started smiling at me. I turned back around and put the car in drive. “Abbs, are you ready to start looking for ideal lunch options?”

“There’s a local Mexican restaurant in Henderson, North Carolina,” she said. “We’ll be there a bit before 12:30.”

“Grand.” I turned up the radio.

Simon and Garrett started a game of I Spy. Leah pulled out her license plate bingo after seeing an Ohio plate. I think Abby was winning the bingo game. I had Georgia (obviously), North Carolina, and Pennsylvania, but none in a row. Abby put Washington next to her North Carolina, so she has three in a row. I didn’t even bother to put Washington on my board.

“Can you get Ohio?” I asked Abby. “I think it’s next to Georgia.”

“It’s in O, actually,” she said. “Next to Minnesota.”

“Really?”

“Yep.” She grabbed a pen and checked it off.

“So I have two in a row with Georgia and Ohio and Pennsylvania and Ohio?”

“Yep. Finally a lucky break for Greenfeld.”

“Did you say you saw an Ohio?” Garrett asked.

“Yeah, but you didn’t, so you can’t use it.”

“I was so busy spying I forgot to spy,” he said dramatically.

“Actually, that was what I spied,” Simon said. “Something red, white, and blue.”

“I was looking all over for American flags.”

“I’m not stupid, Garrett.”

“I spy an ass.”

“Bram, do you have a mirror in your car?”

“Y’all, if you fight on the first day of the road trip we’re going to have a sad month,” Abby said.

“We were joking, Abigail,” Garrett said. “I love Simon to pieces.”

“And the feeling is mutual,” Simon said. While they were talking I leaned toward Abby.

“Illinois,” I whispered. She nodded and checked it off on both of our boards. I switched lanes to pass the license plate before they had a chance to see. I smiled over at Abby. She smiled back.

“Our little secret.”

“Our sexy little secret,” I said with a wink. She snorted.

Simon and Garrett continued their game of I Spy and Leah missed some license plates while she took a nap. Simon and Garrett didn’t miss anymore. Every time they pointed one out Abby smiled at me and tapped the Illinois spot on our boards.

The end of the game came right before our exit. Simon gasped very dramatically from the backseat. “Bingo baby! Montana!” He pointed so hard to the right that he almost smacked Garrett in the nose. We all whipped our heads to see a blue Subaru with a Montana license plate. “Bing! Go! Montana, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Virginia, and Ohio! The package of Oreos belongs to me!” Abby sighed and turned to the center console. She grabbed the package of Double Stuf Oreos and tossed them to the back. Simon’s screaming had woken Leah, who looked upset at losing. I pulled into the Mexican restaurant and parked. Halfway done with day one already.


	32. DC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arrival in DC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I started this in 2018 the timeline is a little off so now Xavier is 3 1/2 to compensate

I still think we should have a second-place prize," Garrett said. "I got that Maryland plate the second we pulled out of the parking lot."

"We're going to be in Maryland in a few minutes," Abby said. She ended up in the passenger seat again with Garrett driving. She had Apple Maps open now that we were getting close. Leah and I were in the back seat together playing the world's shakiest game of Uno. Simon tried to join us at the beginning of the game, but the transfer of cards backward was too difficult. He decided to take a nap for the twenty minutes before we got in.

"Draw four, blue." I set down a wild card. Leah rolled her eyes and grabbed from the toppling deck. Garrett turned off of the freeway onto a bumpy road.

"Let's call it a tie," Leah said.

"Yeah. This can't go on much longer."

"Let's play a ten-person game tonight," Abby said. "The five of us, Molly and Cassie, Olivia, Mina, and Reid."

"Mina and Reid are the ones dating Cassie and Molly, right?" Leah asked.

"Yep." I started picking up the game of Uno and putting it in the box. "Y'all are gonna love Molly and Cassie. Si, Molly loves Harry Potter."

"You act like you don't remember the drunk texting incident," he said groggily as he woke up.

"Good lord, I did forget about it."

"Because you fell asleep while watching Harry Potter."

"Where am I turning?" Abby looked down at her phone.

"Next street and then it will be the third house on the right. It's baby blue and has a rose wall next to the door."

“A rose wall?” Garrett asked. “How fancy.”

“Molly made it for their Sweet Sixteen. It will look beautiful at the wedding, too.”

“Your Aunt Nadine and Aunt Patty are the ones getting married, right?” I asked.

“Yep. They were going to get married in 2015, but Aunt Nadine just found out she was pregnant with Xav, who's about three and a half now.”

“That’s exciting.”

“Will that be the end of our road trip?” Simon asked. “Like a grand finale?”

“Yes!” Abby said. “Turn here, Garrett.” Click click click. I love the sound of the turn signal. Especially the last click as he completes the turn.

We entered a neighborhood of cute little houses in adorable pastels. They all had little gardens, but I could see the Peskin-Suso house right away. Their garden was very colorful and their yard was covered in rustic baskets and knit blankets.

“That’s it?” Garrett asked, pointing toward the house. Abby nodded.

“Honestly, it feels more like home than my childhood home. I probably spent half of every day here and the other half doing routines at home and school.” We pulled into the driveway and two girls ran out the door. I recognized them from the pictures all over Abby’s room.

We all stepped out of the car. My legs needed a good stretch, but I wanted to hug Simon first. Being five feet away for five hours is too long.

“Hi, I’m Cassie,” one of them said. She stuck out her hand to each of us for us to shake. “This is Molly.”

“Is Olivia inside?” Abby asked.

“Yeah, she’s playing trains with Xav,” Molly said.

“So, Momo, this is Leah, the one I was telling you about.” Leah’s cheeks turned pink. I looked over at Simon who shrugged. “Bram, Garrett, and you know Simon.”

“Nick isn’t a road trip guy?” Cassie asked.

“He had some family thing come up,” Abby said. “Oh well, we’ll make do without him. Si already won license plate bingo and we have an extreme game of Uno tonight.”

“That’s gonna be fun!” Cassie grabbed Abby’s hand and Garrett’s and pulled them to the door. Molly shrugged and led us inside.

“Set your bags down anywhere,” Cassie said. “Abby tells me that you have assigned living room sleeping arrangements?”

“No one gets the couch,” I explained. “I sleep in between Simon and Leah in front of the couch, Abby finds a chair wherever she is, and Garrett doesn’t go to sleep.”

“I take the couch after they fall asleep,” Garrett said. “They find me asleep in the morning, they just don’t care.”

“He doesn’t sleep over often. Strict dad.”

“Where’s Aunt Nadine?” Abby asked.

“She’s at Bissel,” Molly said. “She doesn’t like to go when I’m working because she wants to surprise me, but Reid always texts me.”

“I thought Reid was going to be here tonight,” Leah said. “Is he working late or coming straight from work?” How did Leah know so much about Abby’s cousins?

“His parents own the shop,” Molly explained. “They get so excited whenever Nadine comes into the store, they had to text him about it. They actually texted me after they texted Reid, which would really spoil the surprise if Reid hadn’t already.”

After a pasta salad, Nadine, Patty, and Xav went to bed. Actually, Nadine and Patty went to watch Spiderman with him to get him to fall asleep, but there was no way that they were going to bed at 7:30. The ten of us gathered in a circle round the coffee table with the game of Uno.

“We should turn this into Truth or Dare Uno,” Olivia said.

“What?” Simon asked.

“Every time you don’t have a card to play you have to pick Truth or Dare before drawing. Makes the game a lot more fun and high-risk.”

“That sounds like fun,” Reid said. Mina nodded. Abby grabbed the deck and started dealing us cards. She was really good at it, cards flying into their spots on the table.

“Left of the dealer starts. That’s you, Bee.” I set down a green three and the game had started.

After a few rounds, Reid played a yellow eight that Olivia couldn’t add to. “I guess my rule turned on me,” she said with a laugh.

“Truth or Dare, Liv?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to draw three more cards than you need to.”

“Not cool, Reid.” Olivia drew about eight cards, but I didn’t really count.

The next to have to draw cards was Leah. “Truth or Dare?” Simon asked.

“Knowing you? Dare.”

“Leah, are you keeping secrets from me?” Simon asked, gasping.

“Yes.”

“Well, at least you’re honest. I dare you to go to the kitchen to get me more ice cream.”

“Wow. You’re using the game to get dessert. At least it doesn’t harm me in any way whatsoever.” I smiled at Leah as she stood up to get the ice cream. When she came back she drew a few cards and we continued with the game.

Eventually, Abby had nothing to play. “Truth, Momo.”

“Okay,” Molly said. She bit her lip and looked across the table at Cassie and Olivia. Cassie nodded slightly, but Abby wasn’t looking. She was looking at Molly expectantly. “What’s the real reason Nick didn’t come on the trip?”

“Excuse me?”

“Abbs, a family thing didn’t come up. You haven’t talked about him at all tonight, or the past few weeks for that matter.” Now that I thought about it, we didn’t even consider Nick for the road trip list. We asked him, and he said he was going to be with family, but we didn’t plan around him the way we did with everyone else. I looked at Abby, looking for answers as much as Molly, Cassie, and Olivia.

“A family thing did come up, but we didn’t really invite him,” Abby said. “We did, but only a week before we left. More as a last-minute thing when we realized that we forgot him entirely.”

“And how do you manage to forget about your boyfriend?” Cassie asked. “Your one and only?”

“I didn’t forget,” Abby said. It was almost a whisper. “I didn’t want him to come. He’s great and all, but I think I’m going to break up with him when we get back.” Simon, Garrett, and I looked at each other. Leah and Abby were avoiding our eyes. That was a big reveal. “Can we go to bed? I don’t want to play anymore.” She laid out her cards on the coffee table for the rest of us to see. It was only eight.


	33. Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night at the Peskin-Susos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what.

Abby went to sleep in Molly's room, leaving the nine of us in the living room to wallow. Simon and I sat down where we were going to sleep. "Did you know?" he asked.

"No. I honestly thought it was Nick who was being weird and avoiding us."

"Well, he definitely was being weird and avoiding us. He hasn't texted in the group chat since our History finals."

"Yeah, and he hasn't met up with any of us this summer. I can't imagine not seeing you guys for a month."

"I didn't like not seeing you for two weeks." I leaned forward, which is a difficult task while sitting cross-legged. I kissed him quickly.

"I never want to not see you for two weeks," I said. "Ever again."

"College is gonna be rough." Ouch. I hadn't even thought about college. It's a little too early for the long-distance talk, right? I sat back on my hands, hoping that it wouldn't be the next topic of conversation. "Did I hit a nerve?"

"Just a little. I don't want to talk about college yet."

"College in general or specifics?"

"Specifics. I don't care about college itself, although I'd prefer not to."

"Come here." He uncrossed his legs and pulled me into his lap. I set my head on his shoulder. My mom was right when she told me to hold onto Simon. He makes me so freaking happy. "Let's talk about something else. Garrett, who's your celebrity crush?"

“Most current?” Garrett asked from the recliner.

“Sure.”

“A recurrence of my Zendaya crush from a few years ago. Far From Home was a really good movie.”

“You’ve already seen it? It came out last week.”

“I saw it with my dad a few days ago.” Simon wrapped his arm around me.

“I’m not watching Far From Home,” he told me. “No matter how cute Zendaya is.”

“You know,” I said. “You kind of look like Tom Holland.”

“No.” I smiled up at him. “I really don’t.”

“Hold on.” I went to Safari to download a picture of Tom Holland. My most recent picture was of Simon, so I turned my phone around and swiped between the pictures. “I’m not wrong.” Garrett walked over and sat on the couch behind us.

“He’s right, Spier. You look like Spiderman. That’s rad.”

We left the Peskin-Susos at nine in the morning. Abby pulled out the slips of paper to decide our seats but didn’t say anything. She didn’t look as upset as she did last night, but she definitely didn’t look happy. I pulled my slip out of her bag. Back seat.

Abby pulled her slip. “Everyone in the car.” We all piled in and realized our fatal flaw. With five people choosing between six options, we ended up without someone in the driver’s seat. “Let’s try this again.” We all pulled from the bag again. “Did someone get driver?”

“I did.” Simon walked around the car to the driver’s seat. “All aboard!” We popped back into the car, me next to Leah in the middle.

“I get back every single time until I need to drive,” Garrett said.

“Sucks to suck, I guess,” Leah said. She put her feet on the back of Abby’s seat to demonstrate how much leg room she had.

“You’ve had back fairly often, Ms. Burke,” Garrett said. “I wouldn’t wish more bad luck on yourself.”

“Abby gets front seat every time,” Simon said. “Same seat since the beginning. Do you think she marked it somehow?”

“Si, I love you,” I said. “Abby is always the last one to pick. It’s pure dumb luck.”

“Also, before we had to switch I was in the back.”

“So the Lord is doing you favors,” Simon concluded. “Good to know.”

“I can get you on his good side. Also, are we going to drive?”

“Where are we going?” Abby turned around to face me. Right. My road trip.

“Uh, we should head to New York. Simon, Garrett, and I might live there next year.”

“Strong ‘might,’ Greenfeld. I plan on Georgia Tech.”

“But it’s a possibility. And New York is a fun place to run around, anyway.”

“We should pitstop in Philadelphia, too,” Simon said. “Haverford.”

“Are we doing a college road trip?” Abby asked. “Lee and I are going to Georgia.”

“No,” I said. “I just figured that New York City is a vibrant, bustling city that would be fun to visit, plus the bonus of familiarity if we do decide to go.”

“It is the closest you can get to taking me to Paris,” she said. “What the heck, New York it is.” Leah fist-pumped.

“We’re taking so many selfies,” she said. “We don’t have to show Taylor when we get back, but-”

“We’re going to show her that we hung out outside of castles over the summer,” Simon said. “Of course. She’d do the same for us.”

“She will,” I said. “She’s probably going to Italy, or something.”

“Italy was eighth grade,” Garrett said. “She spent two months there. Do you not remember the first day of ninth grade?”

“You mean my first day at Creekwood? I basically clung to Simon’s arm all day.”

“He did,” Simon said. “He did not want to make other friends.”

“And look where that got us.”

“We were hopelessly pining over each other until anonymous emails. Our friendship did nothing to get us together.”

“Oh, that’s not true.” I crossed my legs in my seat, fully aware that he wouldn’t be able to see it. It’s about the right way to tell a story. “Have I not told you the very beginning of the story?”

“Well, that depends on the frame,” Simon said. “Are we starting with January 18, 2002, the person that invented the computer, or what?”

“The post on the Tumblr. I posted it because of you.”

“Excuse me?” He asked. Abby turned a full 90 degrees in her seat.

“Sitting like that isn’t safe, Abbs.”

“Tell the story.” She turned back around.

“Okay, so it was sophomore year. We were about to take our Algebra finals and I was freaking out. They ended up being canceled, but that’s beside the point. I was a wreck over these finals.”

“Keep in mind,” Simon said. “He was getting a 98 in the class. Continue.”

“I wasn’t prepared for this final, don’t listen to Simon. I was getting a 98 because our homework wasn’t graded on accuracy and I studied for hours before tests. I only got 90s on the tests, too. If I got 85 or lower on the final I would have had a B+ in the class. Again, besides the point. I was absolutely miserable, so I texted Si.

“We didn’t hang out much over the summer while I was in Savannah, but he was still one of my best friends. Probably my best friend, but it was almost two years ago, I don’t remember. We were really close and he was in my class.

“He told me that I didn’t need to freak out and that we could redo our sophomore year together, although a B wouldn’t make us redo the entire school year. He was really good at calming me down from my anxieties, and I felt it. A similar feeling to what I’d felt at my dad’s wedding. But it was different. I felt emotional attraction, not just a ‘this guy is cute’ gay awakening. I felt like I had to tell Simon about Savannah, but I couldn’t.

“I hated keeping a secret from him. I stopped texting him in the middle of the conversation. Best friends don’t keep secrets. I felt so alone without a proper best friend, so I posted on the Tumblr. The end.”

“Stop ending your stories with ‘the end,’” Garrett said. “It always deflates your entire story.”

“Fin.”


	34. Sorry

Sorry for the delay getting this next chapter out. It’ll be out on Friday (I think). Advanced bio is kicking me into a ditch right now which it wouldn’t be because my prior knowledge could get me a B but the Former Gifted Kid in me makes me need an A and ugh. It’s annoying. Learn from me and don’t be smart. But. Chapter will most likely be out on Friday. Also! Please vote if you see this today! It’s important!!! <3 M


	35. Welcome to New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrival in New York

Simon pulled into the parking lot of a Baskin-Robbins and got out of the car to stretch. "I drove for so long," he said. "I think it was longer than any of you."

"It was four hours, Si," I said. Leah woke up and uncurled her legs. She is the quickest to bounce back from being asleep and was out the door and onto the pavement faster than I was.

"Ice cream?" she asked. "For dinner?"

"It's called Pre-Dessert, LeLe," Abby said. "Dinner is the blasphemous iHop."

"Ew, who picked that?"

"I did," Simon said. "I have to know, Leah. Also, you're not opposed to being called LeLe?"

"Only when Abby does it," she said. "It's an inside nickname."

“That’s not a thing,” Garrett said.

“Okay, Peaches.”

“That was seventh grade, Leah. We weren’t even friends.”

We walked into the Baskin-Robbins. Leah smiled at Garrett to indicate the end of the discussion.

“Abbs, you like mango, right?” Leah asked.

“Yeah, it’s my favorite.”

“We should split the cost of one big bowl and get two spoons.”

“That seems romantic in nature,” Garrett said. Simon looked over at me.

“I love you, Bee, but I am not eating green tea ice cream for you.”

“You’ll get second-hand green tea ice cream,” I said with a wink. Abby snorted.

“Couples are so mushy,” Garrett said. “If I had a girlfriend I would simply not be mushy.”

“That’s why you don’t have a girlfriend,” Leah said.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Garrett asked.

“Because ew. The most objectively dateable guy in school is Bram and he’s gay and taken.”

“Aw, thank you,” I said. “I think there are zero dateable girls in our school.”

“I agree,” Simon said.

“What about Abby?” Leah asked. “As Bram knows, Simon would date her.”

“That’s true,” Abby said. “Simon had a crush on me the entire beginning of the school year.” I rolled my eyes. We were up next to order so the discussion ceased. We got the big mango for Leah and Abby, a green tea for myself, and two separate chocolate peanut butter for Garrett and Simon. Garrett made the obligatory joke about sharing ice cream with Simon, which was met with a heinous glare.

We walked outside. There was a bench across the street with no people, so we migrated over there to sit.

As soon as Simon set down next to me I could feel his phone buzzing in his hoodie pocket. “Who is it?” I asked. He pulled out his phone. His screen showed a picture of him and Nick before the dance. An incoming FaceTime call. The five of us looked around, glancing back and forth between each other and the screen. Simon hit accept just a few seconds before the call would have declined.

“When did you get an iPhone?” Simon asked.

“This morning!” Nick said enthusiastically. “Where are you guys?”

“New York City,” Simon said. “We’re outside a Baskin-Robbins right now eating ice cream.”

“How is New York? I might be going to college there.”

“We’ve been here for twenty minutes, Nick.”

“Are you guys going to Minnesota at all?”

“I don’t know where we’re sleeping tonight. We have no plan.”

“You guys should come to Minnesota this week. I’m staying with my grandma in some town near Minneapolis. I miss you guys.” I looked over at Abby. She put on a sad smile.

“That sounds amazing,” she said.

“Nick, can I call you back in a few minutes?” Simon asked.

“Of course.” Simon hit decline and set his phone in his lap. We all turned to look at Abby.

“I think we should go,” she said.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Won’t that be awkward for you?”

“I don’t know, Bram, but I do know that if he were going to break up with me I’d want to end it nicely. What better way to do that than to make sure we have a solid friendship before we go back to school?”

“What if he sees it as buttering him up before you break up with him?” Garrett asked.

“We’ll have to see when I do it later. I’m not breaking up with him in Minnesota, I can tell you that much.”

“Abby, are you 100% sure about this?”

“I’m not 100% sure about anything, Bee. But we should go to Minnesota.”

“Should we leave now?” Leah asked. “Or after iHop? Nick seemed like he was craving some friendship.”

“He must be lonely,” Garrett said. “God knows I would be.”

“So Minnesota it is,” Simon said. “I’ll call Nick now.”


	36. Fin

I’m starting work on some personal projects right now and I just can’t keep up with this story. Thank you to everyone who stayed with me through it all. I love you guys. I’ll continue updating Missing You because that’s really easy to write, but I’m leaving this story. I might pick it up in the future, but for right now I’m done. <3 M


End file.
